Lonely Girl Does Stupid Things

Chapter Two

In the underwear department we went searching for my 34DD strapless bra.

"Guys look at this, James would love this right?" Faith said, pointing to a red lingerie set, a lacy bra and underwear with clips and straps and a whole lot of stuff I had no idea what they were.

"You're so naughty Faith." Lani giggled. As I looked around loads of women were browsing quietly, some on their own, some with people, older women, grandmas, girls our age. It was like lingerie fantasy land, the calm music, the pleasing soft pink and white colours. At the counter was a girl with long brown hair and a tight fitted white shirt and black pencil skirt, leaning on her hand, elbow on the table watching everyone. Everyone knew what they were there for, everyone was comfortable. Have you ever felt like you just don't belong? I don't know how to describe it, like everyone is in some secret club and you aren't a member, everyone carries this comfortability that I just don't feel. As I looked at Lani and Faith chatting away and the rest of the people going about their day, I thought, in fact I always think, I just don't fit in, and I don't know why. Sometimes I try to tell myself that everyone probably is having their own problems but it doesn't seem like it. I look in the mirror and I hate my reflection, well sometimes. It's as if when God was putting everyone's faces on he wasn't looking properly when he did mine, and it doesn't look quite right, and it's as if when he put my essence inside me he didn't put it all, or didn't put it in properly, I just don't feel like I belong here sometimes, and I don't know why. I could have cried right then and there at the thought of it, but I didn't. I just held it in.

"Come on, hurry up." Faith called to me, by then I'd been dawdling without realising, I guess I do it a lot. I walked up to the girls, The girl at the counter was watching us seeming bored out of her mind,

"This is perfect, look" Lani said smiling handing me the bra, it was my size and it was strapless, but goodness gracious me seventeen blooming pounds.

"It's a bit expensive" I said.

"What did you expect, we're not in Primark." Lani moaned. The two girls were looking at me, growing irritated. Plus the dress the outfit was gonna really cost me.

"Could we pop into Primark, cos I can't pay all that" I asked breathing in waiting for them to complain. There it was. Both of them huffing and puffing.

"They won't have your size! This is better quality anyway" Faith went on. Let me just buy it so they'll shut up. I looked at the bra. Seventeen pounds?! No, it's a new me, it's my birthday and I'm not spending all this on that poxy beige bra that is not even my skin tone!

"I can squeeze into a smaller one, I'm sure it'll be fine for one night, I'M GOING TO PRIMARK" I said assertively, put the bra back on the rack, then walked away. I didn't see their faces, but I'm sure they were both surprised and annoyed, I walked toward the girl at the counter.

"You can't pay for your dress there!" Lani called out, but I was already there, I approached the girl who quickly stood up upon seeing who I guess was a supervisor or something then smiled a weak ' I don't wanna be here but I'll get in trouble if I'm not polite' kind of smile.

"Can I pay for this here?" I asked shyly showing her the dress.

"Yea of course you can." She replied, in your face Lani. I handed her the dress and stood feeling proud of myself, watching as she packaged the dress. I didn't care what Lani or Faith had to say, I'm nobody's doormat any more, I looked over at them, they were slowly walking up to the counter.