To Brooklyn, With Love (Completed) - Finding You Book 2

Harrison

I'm fried. I lift my glass and knock the ice around a few times before I drain the last bit down and loosen my tie. I don't even want to be here, and that's saying something. I'm warm from the alcohol, and instead of relaxed, I feel even worse about this than I did when I was sober.

The Phillies hit a home run to tie the game late in the fourth and I'm out of my seat with my hands in the air. But instead of bending down to slap Sophie's hand or even those of strangers around me, I'm the only one celebrating.

Instead of my usual field level seats, I'm in a suite, surrounded by business partners who are far more invested in their phones than what's going on in the game.

And then there's Olivia, who's desperately trying to appear like she cares about baseball when I really know she's just trying to get me to pay attention to her. In her defense, I did invite her. She's one of Autumn's friends and as lame as it sounds, I didn't want to come to this thing alone.

And even though the game is just starting to get good, the men start shaking hands and filing out, leaving me alone with Olivia.

"Wow. What a game, huh?" She smiles, twirling her hair next to me on the couch. She's smart and beautiful. I'm sure half the guys in this room would love for her to look at them the way she's looking at me right now. Maybe it's just what I need.

I scoot over a little and lean up to her ear. She smells sweet, and nods quickly when I whisper, "Wanna check out the other room?"

Seconds later, we're in a side room in the back of the suite, away from the windows. My hand are on her hips, wildly tugging the red fabric of her short dress until she's flush against me. My head is spinning, so I focus on her red, red lips.

"Someone could walk in at any moment," she says wickedly in my ear, her face scratching against the my stubble.

"Let em," I say, and that's all it takes for her lips to crash onto mine. Her kisses are soft and wild, and her hands find my belt buckle quickly as she pushes me down into a chair and climbs into my lap. Her dress bunches around her hips and her smile is sexy and dangerous as she lowers herself to her knees in front of me. For a minute, I think I can do this. Maybe if I fuck someone else, I'll feel better again. I'll feel like myself again. I'll forget Brooklyn.

Brooklyn. Jesus Christ. It's been four months since I've seen her.

The moment the image of her pops into my head, I pull away and stand up, rubbing my face with my hands.

I can't forget Brooklyn. Her sweet smile. Her laugh. The way her lips feel against mine. I'm mad as hell at her, but there is no one like Brooklyn. I'm afraid there never will be.

I can't count the number of times I've pulled her name up on my phone just to look at her picture. I never have the guts to call. It's the reason there are so many crumpled up pieces of paper in my trash. Letters I could never send - To Brooklyn, with love, Harry.

What am I doing?

In the mirror, I see Olivia, red-cheeked and confused staring at my back.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted to,"

"I'm sorry," I shake my head, buckling my pants. "I'm drunk and I'm...not in the right head space, Olivia. I shouldn't have brought you. I shouldn't have led you on," I turn around to face her.

"We could be good together," she says knowingly. "That kiss was hot. Maybe some other time..."

"I'm with someone," I tell her seriously.

"But Autumn said..."

"I know what Autumn said," I interrupt. "But I'm with someone, and I'm an asshole for even being here at all," I fill a cup of water and take a long sip. "Don't be mad at Autumn. That girl's gonna be my sister one day - she only wants what's best for everyone she loves,"

She wipes her eyes and stands up quickly, hurrying out to the main room to grab her purse, pulling out her phone.

"I'll make sure you get home okay. I'll call an Uber,"

"No," she shakes her head. "Please don't," her smile is sad. "I'd rather be by myself. I'd say thanks for inviting me, but honestly this has been one of the worst nights of my life,"

I watch quietly, unsure of what to say. And when she closes the door behind her and I'm left alone in the suite, I fall onto the couch in front of the game.

We're winning now. I must have missed a big moment, but I just feel numb. I walk into the hallway and head toward the beer stands, figuring I better wind down. But when I get in front of it, I just feel worse. The girl behind the counter isn't Brooklyn. Of course I knew it wouldn't be, but the memories swirling in my mind of the day I met her are fierce and painful.

I should go home, but I don't. I head back to the suite with another 2 drinks in my hand. I want to watch baseball. I want to have fun.

But lately everything is stressful. My job eats hours of my time with Sophie, and I don't even care about what I'm doing. I hear Brooklyn's voice 2 times a week on the computer and I can't bring myself to step in front of the screen to look at her or even say hello. I'm angry with her, but I'm even more angry with myself for not being able to shake her. Sophie says she always looks happy and that she likes where she's living. I should be happy for her; it's selfish of me to wish she was as lonely as I am.

Something has to change. I can't live my life this way anymore.

I just want to watch baseball.

I don't remember how many more I drink as I sit on the couch alone, watching the game until everything goes black.

"Let's go, idiot," I hear my brother say from above me. My eyes crack open and he's pulling me off the couch. My head is killing me and everything is bright.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"You went and got black out drunk alone at a Phillies game, man," he tells me sadly. "Apparently you woke up enough to call me. You're lucky security agreed to walk me up here. What's going on with you?"

"Did we win?" I ask, closing my eyes as I stand up.

"Yeah, Har," he says. "We won. Get your shit. Let's go. No way I'm bringing you home to your daughter like this. You can stay with us tonight. Layla will be good to stay at your place for the night,"

The walk to the car is long and awful. It's a hot summer night and I'm stumbling with each step.

"I've got to figure something out, man," I tell him. "Work is killing me. I miss Sophie. I miss having fun. I miss having things to look forward to,"

"I'm here for you," he tells me. "You know I am. We all are. But don't ever let this shit happen again. I was worried about you,"

"I'm good. I'm just trying so hard to make things right for us. Sophie's been through so much. I want to be a good Dad. I want to be there for her. I want to love what I do..I don't want her to grow up thinking it's okay to settle for things in life."

"So do something different," he says simply.

"Yeah," I laugh. "As if that's an option,"

"Why isn't it?" he asks, as we get into his car. "I know you're trying to live up to Dad's expectations, but you've got to take care of yourself, Harrison," he says seriously. "You only get one life. Don't waste it doing something you hate,"

I swallow and press my head against the glass. I know he's right, but I have no idea what that means for me.

"Forgive yourself for what you said to Brooklyn," he says and I open my eyes.

"What?" I frown.

"Stop hating yourself for what happened. I'm not looking to dig into your business, but I know it's killing you. You don't have to stick with these decisions forever. Jobs. Relationships. You can change your mind. You can do what you need to do to make you happy. That's the beauty of life. Just do yourself, and your daughter, a favor and don't go soul searching at a Phillies game again, okay?"

"Yeah," I say simply. My brother is smart, and he knows I'm taking everything he's just said to heart. I'm lucky to have him.

"I've always looked up to you," he tells me. "Don't give me a reason to stop, okay?"