This is not how I imagined tonight would go. The very thought that we might be tailspinning into this again is horrifying.
The night started out fine. Brooklyn agreed to meeting with me at her house after Sophie went to bed. I'd played the whole thing out in my head a few dozen times, but knew that looking her in the eye and actually saying it wouldn't be as easy.
But then I showed up on her front step and she let me in with a small smile. She put on a pot of coffee as I let the nerves roll out of me, preparing to tell her I think it's worth a second try. She handed me a mug of coffee and sat beside me, but everything came to a stop when we heard Sophie crying from her bedroom.
Her nose was bleeding. Her head hurt. She had a fever of 102F.
Now we're sitting in the emergency room and I'm terrified that we might repeat the scariest time of our lives.
"Are you still here?" Sophie asks from the hospital bed.
"We're here. Mom's grabbing us some coffee and she'll be right back,"
She's been dozing in and out for hours, hooked up to an IV. Because of her history, the doctors are running additional tests, but they assured us it's very possible it's nothing more than a virus.
We're supposed to be leaving for home tomorrow. It's midnight now, and there's a good possibility she will not be released tonight, even if it is just a virus.
Brooklyn steps back into the room with our coffee. She stops by Sophie to see if she's awake before sitting down beside me.
"Out like a light again," she says softly as she hands me my coffee. "She was fine all day. That's what makes this so strange. It's too abrupt,"
"We gotta sit tight and believe it's going to be okay until there's reason to believe it might not," I tell her. "She doesn't deserve it. Never did. And the fact that she beat it...that you helped her beat it," I look down at my feet. I need to reset to make sure what I'm about to say doesn't come out wrong.
"I'm sorry that I let a bunch of shit get the better of me, Brook. For awhile there, it felt like I was catching it from all angles, like I had lost control of my own life. I let that anger and confusion manifest into impatience and anger with you, because I didn't have any other way to deal," I say.
"We don't have to do this here," she says softly. "It's okay,"
"No it isn't," I shake my head. "It's taken me far too long to realize what I've lost in losing you," I whisper. "I won't let myself leave here without making sure you know,"
"Mommy?" Sophie mumbles from her bed. "Can I leave soon?"
Brooklyn takes a deep breath. Her eyes stay on mine for another second before she stands and walks back over by our daughter.
"Hopefully soon," she sits down on her bed and holds her hand. "We just want to make sure you're 100% before you leave, so we don't end up coming back later, okay?"
"Okay Mommy," she says before yawning. "Can we all sleep here if I have to stay?"
"You bet," I say, walking over to her. "For as long as it takes,"
"Can we play I-spy?" she asks. I can tell she's exhausted and fighting to stay awake, but she's strong and resilient, and her tolerance and understanding of hospital stays is better than most.
"Sure. You can start," she smiles.
"I spy something round with numbers," Sophie says. "You'll never get it,"
We play around for a few minutes, guessing anything and everything but the clock, until she can't help herself from blurting out the answer.
YOU ARE READING
To Brooklyn, With Love (Completed) - Finding You Book 2
RomanceFormerly "Her Mother's Eyes" Book 2 in the "Finding You" series. I thought I had no other choice. I accepted my decision and thought I'd moved on. I wasn't really ever her mother anyway. But I'm stunned when I think I see her familiar little eyes i...