To Brooklyn, With Love (Completed) - Finding You Book 2

Brooklyn

"I really like dogs," Sophie says softly beside me. She's on Harrison's lap and her little legs are swinging back and forth. I'm not sure she understands the magnitude of what's going on in her life, but she's very smart. She definitely knows things are different.

"I like them, too," I tell her, and Harrison squeezes my hand. We've been sitting in the waiting room of our oncologist, about to be seen for Sophie's first appointment. The past few days have been some of the hardest I can remember; the shit I went through before becoming a permanent fixture in Harrison's life could never compare to watching Harrison explain to his little girl what it means to have cancer.

I've got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away. It's guilt, I think, for not mentioning the thoughts I've had surrounding being Sophie's birth mother. I never meant to get in so deep. I should've said something right away, the second I saw her birthmark, but I was afraid I'd seem like a stalker, or completely insane. But now there are feelings. Feelings for Harry. For Sophie. And now it's too late to casually drop my worries into conversation.

By the way, I did a stint in surrogacy and I think Sophie's the little girl I gave up...

Hey, Harry. Have you ever noticed that Sophie and I look alike? There's probably a reason...

Guess what? We have a kid together.

No. Wrong. All of it. No matter what I say or how I say it, it will all come down to one thing. Because I've held onto these thoughts for too long, I've now set myself up to look like I've been purposely taking advantage of Harry. Like I've been secretly living in their home to get closer to the daughter I had to give up, and that I'm going to take him for money and try to get custody of my child. Of course none of it's true, but it's no doubt the way it looks.

But I can't tear them out of my heart and walk away, especially since there's a good possibility it's all in my head, and that makes me most selfish person on the planet.

"Do you think we could get a doggy, Daddy? Maybe when I'm bigger?"

"Maybe, kiddo," he says softly with a sad smile that he buries in her hair. His eyes meet mine and there is so much worry and love I almost can't take it.

"I'm going to find the drinking fountain," I say softly, needing to step away. In a matter of hours, everything has changed. I can't throw this into the mix, too. It's not the right time.

I take a drink, then splash some of the water on my face.

This is a mess. I'll never survive it.

"Sophie," the nurse calls out from the hallway. My heart pounds as I walk back and see Harrison waiting for me with Sophie in his arms.

"C'mon, Brook," he says, holding his hand out for me. I swallow. I've never felt worse; I'm close to hating myself. He'll hate me, too, if he ever finds out.

Even if it's not true, he'll hate me on the premise that there was even a possibility and I didn't say anything.

I should cut and run. Take myself out of the picture before I hurt them even more.

But I can't. His eyes are soft and sad and I realize that it's not necessarily Sophie that needs me right now. It's Harry.

I think I'm in love with him.

I let out a breath and walk forward, catching his hand.

"How are you doing today, Sophie?" Dr. Williams asks kindly. He takes her blood pressure and listens to her heartbeat before explaining they'll continue a series of tests to find what will best work to battle her leukemia.

Sophie is so sweet; it breaks my heart knowing that such a little life could be changed forever from an illness. She doesn't deserve it, and Harry definitely doesn't deserve to have someone else taken from him. Life is really unfair sometimes.

The appointment ends with the doctor stating he'll phone with results in a few days. We're quiet on the ride home, and it's not until Sophie is asleep that night that Harry really begins to talk about it. I'm sitting on the couch with his head in my lap. His eyes are staring up at me like I've got the answers to everything, and I don't have the heart to tell him I've got more answers than he thinks.

"I'm terrified, Brook," he tells me. "At the options. At the possibility that we might not beat this," he swallows. "At how fast everything is happening. Sophie is full of life. If this doesn't kill her, I'm afraid it will suck every sparkle out of her eyes,"

I swallow. Holy shit. A tear rolls down my cheek at his honesty and candidness with me. "She's the best part of me,"

I should say something to let him know I'm listening, but our eyes are still locked. This moment is tender and fragile; I've never felt anything like this before. He's looking at me, practically upside-down, and pouring his heart out.

"I'm wasting time," he says. "Not doing what I want. Sitting in an office all day, doing nothing that really matters. Away from Soph all day. Away from you," he swallows and pauses, and I can tell something is on the horizon. Something big.

"I won't be my Dad, Brooklyn," he says, sitting up so his knee is pressed against mine. "I won't work my life away and watch my family from the sidelines. I want to be here for her every single day. Especially if these are her last days..."

"Harry," I shake my head. "Don't think like that,"

"I have to," he says seriously. "I can't play this off like it's just a bump in the road. Life is changing fast. This might be all I have. You're what matters. You and Sophie,"

My belly fills with warm, wild butterflies and I can only think with my heart. Logic is gone.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Brooklyn," he swallows. "Not just the Sophie stuff. It's everything. You make everything better. Brighter," he smiles. "We may have started out as pretend, but we're far from it now,"

My heart slams harder in my chest. It's the best feeling in the world and the worst all at the same time.

"You're it. Life is so messy that I'm beginning to wonder if you've always been it. If all that shit with Lindsey was....I don't know. Supposed to happen, as sick as that sounds. I don't mean that. Fuck. I don't know," he shakes his head. "I just mean you're it. I've been waiting for you, even when I didn't know it,"

Fuck. Everything about this is breaking my heart.

"I love you," he says seriously. "You're what I've been looking for,"

I don't dare ask if he's saying this now because his life has just been ripped in two. I believe him. I can see it in his eyes. I've seen if for awhile now. It's beautiful and terrifying all at once.

"I love you, too, Harry," I smile as a tear rolls down my cheek. "Sophie's gonna beat this. We're gonna beat this," I say as he kisses me.

His hands claw at my hair and our kisses turn hot. He lifts me off the couch and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to his bedroom. He lays me on the bed and stares down at me with a smile as we begin to tear off our clothes. The truth is, I've had a lot of sex, but never with a man I've really, truly loved.

We lose ourselves in each other quickly, never tearing our eyes away from the other for even a second. This is love. This is better than anything I've ever felt, and I'd give everything in the world to hold onto it forever.