Living in Sin

13.

Song; Pills and potions - Nicki Minaj

Emma

I sat down in the hard bench waiting as I wrap the tape around my hands, another fucking fight to tame my demons but mostly the heartache.
"Terror!"

I know its Ray entering the woman's only bathroom, no smile leaves my face. Fuck I can't even remember when I genuinely smile. Ray is like a second father but even he didn't know the demons that roam inside me like the ultimate sin. I never look up as I feel him closer to me and I hear double footprints, which makes me look up. There next to Ray was a man, slim but tone with sharp chiseled jawline and wavy black hair brush back. He looks at me with predator's eyes doesn't say a word, "This here is Art, my son."

I can't help to give him a confused stare, I've known Ray all my life and not once did I ever met him. He notices my confusion, "He's been with his grandmother but just came back from the service and working to became an EMT."

I get off the bench to get a look in front of the mirror as I notice the dark bags under my eyes but mostly noticing the man staring at my reflection with no expression he's death glare reminds me of HIM.

There is not one day HE doesn't flood my mind, not one day I'm not haunted by the memory of lost love. As I work with Gia in the Er, I still can not feel satisfied with my life but no one knows my dirty secret. Well, two secrets.

The fact that I still fight and the fact that I can't stare at the eyes that mimic his.

I walk out of the bathroom as I make way to ring, all that can be heard is "TERROR TERROR."

But it doesn't block my memories of losing three people in my life.

As I stood there with my hands before me waiting for the punches to laid to my body, nothing seems to help. Everything is like a bad nightmare and I'm waiting to wake up.

Within minutes the fight is over and the loud thump sound comes from the body that has landed to the mat. As I jump out of the cage to run to the bathroom, where he is waiting for me. Art.

"Do you need something?"

I don't look at him but I feel his stare at my body as I remove the tape from my hands.

"All this aggression isn't going take away your demons."

With that, he leaves me alone in my thoughts.

I take a run back home, doesn't matter the mileage but I prefer the run, I place my headphones on my ear, cover my face with my black hoodie and drown away my thoughts.

Everything felt like yesterday and even though Gia was with me every step in the way there was one thing we didn't agree on but had no say so in the matter.

After I ran from the prison I almost didn't get hired at St. Peters because I did a no show no call and they wanted to report me to Nursing board but Gia wasn't having it.