Living in Sin

19.

Song: The Bones - Maren Morris

Emma
No words were exchange as he furiously drove to the Emergency room. He tightly grip the steering wheel turning his knuckles white, taking quick turns on road. He parked near the emergency as he quickly jumps out of the truck. I know he wants to help me. I open the drop to let myself out but before my feet could touch ground he was already in front of me.
He quickly scoop me up as he held me bridal style walking into the emergency room, my nostrils flare up as I take a sniff his scent.
Sand wood and sweat musk
It flooded my mind with pictures of us.
My muscles twitch with anticipation of wanting to be closer but I fought every single cell in my body. 
"Get me a wheelchair."
Were all the words that came out of my mouth.
He just lets go of a devilish smile says the same words that he once said long ago, 'As you wish.'
He gently places me down as I can't stop staring at him, the dark circles under his eyes were gone. His body was filled with more ink with a handsome smile was permanently plastered on the his devilish fucking face. Sharp jaw line, dark brown eyes and brightest black hair, almost look like a dark shade of blue.
Guilt flood my heart and mind. I wanted to tell him about our son, I wanted to tell him I was falling for other man. I wanted to pled to god right now and ask him for mercy as the father of child was stand before me.  But I wanted to yell at him and god in the same time. I wanted scream, 'Why me?'

I didn't want him to show me his kindness, I wanted him to yell and scream at me. Fuck I wanted him to physically harm me because my heart deserve it.
Wheeling myself to the waiting room I couldn't keep my eyes off him but I tried not to be noticeable as I pulled out my cell phone to only notice....
Completely fucking nothing.
No missed calls
no missed texts
Not even notifications on any of my social medias. No one missed me enough to even blow up my phone.
"So who are you going to kill?"
He asks as he lifts my swollen foot to his lap.
It doesn't hurt but something about the way he's touching me feels protected and needed.
"Hmm a person I used to call my sister and best friend. If I dislike her before, now hate her."
Hatred spilled out my mouth, I missed her but I hated that she left me.
I hate that her life was more important than mine.

And Here I was sitting in the Er where I work at with a ghost of my past.  With a man I thought I spread his ashes at Vegas.  Bitterness flush in my veins with repeat thoughts, "your life so fuck up that the man you loved fake his own death to stay away from you, the friend you love as a sister is gone and your own father was reason for all those broken bones is gone!  Even your own flesh and blood is gone ! You don't deserve happiness or kindness."  

Those words flush my mind like if someone couldn't stop whispering it in my ear. To top off I was at ER for broken ankle, what's the worse that could happen?
Joyce pops in my mind, thinking she closes thing I have to a friend. But even she was gone, she was fighting her own battles with the love of her life who was back. Who was I to bring her down with my own problems?
I haven't heard from her.
Not that I blame her, James was back and he left a major impact in her heart and soul.  If any one deserves happiness it was her. Every one seem to have moved on without a care in the world for me. Here I was next to the man that my heart and mind knew was dead.
Stuck in this endless emotions I kept telling myself am going to wake up. 'Any moment now. WAKE UP EMMA' I keep looking around, noticing injury people, some coughing some crying and some asleep on the chairs. Wait is this hell?
The man next to me is not Parker but the devil himself using hes skin to trick me?
That's it I lose it.
Tears drop from my eyes as my chest contractions and I can no longer catch my breath. Darkness starts filling before my eyes. Fuck