I hate me

The past

Being the youngest child in a family of three older siblings was so hard; none paid attention to me, I know hard to believe because you usually hear the youngest got most of the attention but it was the total opposite in my family. None paid attention to what I had to say, or what I got in school. It was all about my three older brothers. I didn't have anyone to talk to, not even my own mother because she loved the boys more than she loved me and she admitted it to me one time when I confronted her about not loving me equally as the boys. The only thing I could turn to was food; I ate away the pain of being rejected and hated by everyone around me. That all started in about grade four. I was 120 pounds in grade four and almost two hundred by the end of middle school and start of high school. Everyone looked at me with disgust and pity; pity of how over weight I was and how bad they felt for my family. What upset me the most was that my own mother looked at me with pure disgust when we went out I public and went shopping because they had nothing in my size. My brothers stopped taking me out because they felt embarrassed of having such an overweight of a sister; I was a burden to them. It might seem like my mom cares but she really doesn't, she could careless about me.

Around the end of grade seven and start of grade eight my grandpa passed away from dying in his sleep. He was the only one who loved me even when everyone hated me, he tried to keep my mind on positive stuff; it never worked but I tried to make it work just for him. Whenever my mom or brothers said anything rude to me he would stand up for me. He was like my second father figure and I loved him so much. He always bought me whatever I wanted and nothing for my brothers because he felt that I was under appreciated and deserved all the love my brothers already had. My dad wasn't around much because he had to travel a lot for work so he wasn't so crystal with what happened in the house. So when my grandpa did pass away I just felt so numb because my only source of positivity in my life was taken away from me. Everything just got worse from that day on, I stayed in my room all day and ate; ate my heart out.

A couple months after the death of my grandpa, Chace had moved into the house right beside me; and I never knew it was on sale till I went outside to take out my room garbage for the first time in a long time and saw the "sold" sign and saw people who weren't my neighbors out in the front yard.

"Hello there!" A voice came from across the lawn and I slowly turned around to see a tall boy with dark brown hair and hazel coloured eyes.

"Uhm, h-hi?" He smiled and extended his hand for a handshake.

"Uh, I'm Chace! I'm your new Neighbor as you can see." He laughed and nudged his head to the big sold sign. I just stood there awkwardly looking at him and thinking why does he want to talk to me? No one likes talking to me...

I just nodded my head and walked back inside feeling a little guilty I just left him standing there but whatever.