Growing Heaven

Dreams

"No! No!!"

Your body thrashed in the bed, sheets scattered on the floor. Head shaking side to side. Hair becoming tangled with each movement you made.

This wasn't the first time you've had a nightmare here. Any time you closed your eyes to rest, your nerves ached.
Skin crawling, itching. The feeling on fingers grazing your arms, leather being whipped against your back. Welts littering your flesh.

"Boss! Get me some water! (Y/N) (Y/N) hey hey, it's me. It's ok..!"

The low voice of the red scarf wearing male slowly eased your panicked body.

(E/c) fluttering open, drops of warmth falling from the corners.

Your small body was being cradled in Ocelot's lap. Rocking back and fourth slowly. His hand gently brushing your hair. Stroking away the pain. The same hand keeping your face pressed against his chest.
Allowing the sound of the rhythmic beating heart sooth you.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry.."
You repeated, over and over. Every time this happened you felt guilty. Everyone was trying to sleep and here you are screaming like the rooster waking a farmer.

"Stop, you have nothing to be sorry for."
He muttered, humming one of the various songs composed by 'The Beatles'

As if the music beckoned the sturdy built Boss into the room. A bottle of water held in his prosthetic hand.
Exposed eye, a beautiful shade of blue like the ocean you adored stared at the scene before him.

He saw a father, holding his child who was being haunted by the monster under the bed.

Slowly he knelt in front of your bed, offering the bottled water to you.
Thanking him, allowing both your hands to guide the cooling drink, easing the burning, sore throat.

"How are you feeling..?" Snake asked, rising from the floor. Head tilted down slightly. His hair hanging loosely, free from the tail it was usually put in.

"I'm ok...just-frustrated. I just want to sleep.." you hissed, hands bawling for a moment. Then releasing, rubbing the tired eyes.

"I know..this will pass, trust me." He spoke, it seemed he's experienced this before.

Not wanting to pry, you nodded  
"When?"
"It depends, weeks, months, years. It all depends on you, and how you overcome those fears."

You were quiet, confused. How could you overcome this? Then quickly asked
"Like...learning how to swim? Or a phobia..?"
"Exactly, it's up to you to push through."

You became quiet once more, nodding to yourself. You were going to push through, and overcome this. You overcame the fear of swimming, you could definitely do this.

——————————————

Snake and Quiet we're away on a mission, Ocelot was busy training the soldiers. Kaz was watching over the other children, leaving you to occupy yourself.

D.D. Laid beside you, asleep while you sat on the deck. Watching the waves.

You heard boots clicking then a shuffle.
From the peripheral of your eyes you could see the tattered green shirt.

"Hello Eli."
"Privet (Y/N)"

You smiled, head turning to face the rowdy blonde.
His attention was now on the ocean.

"Comment vas-tu?"
"Ya V poryadke"

The two of you spoke back and fourth, he would talk in Russian while you did French.
After about an hour you were both laughing.

A few moments of silence passed, Eli seemed like he wanted to ask something. Yet didn't want to at the same time. Eventually he asked the query that's been on his mind for a while.

"Are...you alright?"

You were confused, did he already forget that you were both laughing and joking minutes ago.

"Yeah-why..?"
"...I heard you screaming last night, and the week before.."

Your eyes stared down at your hands. Each finger had been chewed, nails uneven, skin peeing. Certain areas of your hands hurt when pressure was applied.

"...I saw a spider"
"Liar."

Teeth made contact with the edge of your thumb. Chewing the skin.

"Tell me."

You looked away.

He was growing frustrated, grabbing your shoulder and pushing you down. Pinning you to the ground.

"Tell me now!"
"Get off..!"
"Only if you talk!"
"Fine!"

Pushing him off, you stood up. His eyes following each movement you made. Lifting the sleeves of your shirt, revealing scars on your shoulders and forearms.

"There's more...but I can't show them."
"...you have scars-so what? I do too."
"Yours are from fights though."
"So?"
Your head shook, becoming silent. The blonde stood up, grabbing your shoulders. Forcing you to look at him.
There was a look in his eyes, but you weren't sure what it was.
"...some one hurt you?"
"It was called discipline."
"That's why your here isn't it?"
"..? I don't understand."

Eli removed his hands from your frame. Putting the sleeves down, shielding the damaged skin. Pacing slowly.
"He saved you, huh?"
"Who? Snake?"
He nodded, eyes showing anger for a moment. Then instantly softened as they looked in your direction.
"Well-your safe now. Those bastards can't hurt you no more."

His arms folded, then held the railing to the deck. Boot bouncing, lost in thought for a moment. He shook his head then walked off.

"ya pogovoryu s toboy pozzhe, dorogaya...!"

I'll talk to you later...what was the last word though..?