Afraid // Sequel to Always

Chapter 2

I look at the bakery my father once worked in, where I once lived in. It's pillar entrance and compact space makes me remember the warm smell of bread cooking.

I see a figure in the distance, opening her car-door. She has blond hair to her shoulders and a smile so bright it could light up all my demons. I picture her through the rain and haze and realise it's Delly. The girl of my childhood, apart from Katniss, and the one I haven't seen for years.

"Delly!" I call before she can get inside her car.

She notices me and squints her eyes, then her face lights up. She runs over, been careful not to slip.  When she reaches me, we collide and I hug her. She digs her head into my shoulder and I tightly wrap my arms around her back.

"Peeta." She whispers in my ear, and I feel the drops of rain slide down my back.

We pull away and I take a moment to study her face, it's still light and fresh like it always has been; but she has aging-features to her face, and dark bags under her eyes. The eyes shine of blue-green, and they analyse right through me, but her smile, curved and plastered onto her face, is always so welcoming, so useful.

"It's nice to see you." Is all she can say.

I take a deep breath and nod in agreement.

"You too."

In my mind, I'm picturing Katniss and her, comparing the differences of them. The dark hair and light hair, the dark eyes and light eyes, the dark personality and the light personality. But to me, Katniss was perfect. Because when I was with Delly, she could never have any problems, so I couldn't help her. But with Katniss, I had chances to make her feel better, make her see she was okay.

The image of Katniss forces me to fight nightmares, and Delly can see it.

"Are you okay Peeta?" She asks cautiously, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine," I shake my head, roughly clearing the image, "did you hear about Katniss?"

There's a pause, and Delly sighs quietly. I wait for her response, but I know what she will say.

"I..do, Peeta. I can't imagine how you're feeling, she was really great-"

"Great? She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was lucky to have her, and now...SHE'S DEAD!" I pick up a brick that sits near the bakery and throw it a few metres away, unsure why.

Delly looks scared, but she stays still and motionless as I yell into the wind.

"Peeta.." She tries to calm me down, but the war going on in my head has won, and I'm unstoppable.

I kick the rocks on the ground, sit down and cry, push Delly away unintentionally. I allow no way of comfort and I can't help it, because even when I realise it all I can do it hate myself.

When she calls for help, I fall on my knees, the rain dripping down my face, and cry into my hands. She sits next to me and tries to look for my eyes, but I shield them away. She hugs me into her like Finnick, but her force isn't as tight, and I'm able to pull myself away.

I hear loud and quick footsteps on the ground, and feel the tight arms grip around my back. I look up and see Finnick holding me, but he tells me to close my eyes as his arms slowly and painfully pull me up and he carries me, my body curled up so no one can hurt me. Even though it's not the case.

I hear footsteps follow us, and I know it's Delly. I feel awful for making her feel like this, guilty and afraid. But even if my heart beats fast, feeling that, my mind is telling me she's nothing but a free-way to memories of Katniss.