Episode #313 Resolved

Option B, Part 3

Cyrus' POV

"How was the math test?" Andi asks Buffy.

She stands with Jonah and I in the hall and we wait for Buffy to put her books away so that we can go to lunch.

"Pretty good," she says as she closes her locker.

All of a sudden, I notice Kira come up behind her with a grin on her face.

"Buffy," she says, causing Buffy to turn around. "I'm excited for practice today."

Buffy glares at her as Kira continues past us, then spins back around to confront all our of shocked faces.

"You let her back on the team?" Jonah says.

"I thought you said she was really full of herself," Andi adds.

"I had to let her back on," Buffy says.

"Why?" I ask.

I can't believe Buffy if giving that girl anything she wants. It's not just about her doing the costume with TJ. Buffy also doesn't like her, and it takes a lot to change her mind about people.

Buffy hesitates before answering, "She said if I didn't, she would out you and TJ to the school."

My face flushes as I feel my stomach twist.

"And I'm not going to let her do that," Buffy adds. "So I'm just going to put up with her for a while."

"How long?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I don't know."

"Buffy, I don't like how my being gay is affecting your life."

"Cyrus, It's okay."

"No, it's not. I wish people weren't so mean."

Buffy puts her arm around me, saying, "Me too, but you don't have to deal with them alone."

Just then, my eye lands on TJ at the end of the hallway. Buffy takes her arm away and looks at where my stare is caught with his. A few seconds later, he carries on down the hall, and I spin back to my group of friends.

"He's alone," I say.

"Go talk to him," Andi suggests.

I nod and give them a small smile before stepping away to find TJ. He hasn't spoken to me yet. Will he even want to talk to me? Is he even gay? Maybe I've just been wrong about him this entire time. Maybe he just likes Kira and not me. No, Buffy said Kira was going to tell people about TJ too, so it must be something.

TJ's POV

The wind hits me as I step outside. I need some fresh air to breathe in for a second. Seeing Cyrus brought back a million feelings I'm trying to shove away. Why can't I stop thinking about him? Why does it have to be this hard?

Suddenly, the door opens behind me and the boy appears with a concerned look on his face.

"TJ, can I talk to you?" he asks.

I shrug.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I reply.

He steps up to me. "Can I ask why didn't you want to do the costume with me?"

"I guess I just changed my mind."

"Did Kira say something to you?"

"No, Cyrus," I argue. "Can't I just want to do the costume with her? Maybe I just like her—you know, because I like girls."

Why can't I be honest with him? He won't judge me. Everyone else will.

He just stares at me for a moment before saying, "You can . . . if that's the reason."

I shake my head and step back against the wall of the building, letting it scrape my back as I sink down to the grass.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I confess.

Cyrus lowers down beside me. The way our shoulders touch makes both my heart race and my stomach turn.

"Does anyone?" he says.

That makes me smile a little. This is what I like: being beside him. No matter how much I deny it, that fact will always be there clinging to my every thought.

"I knew I was different because of my dyscalculia," I say, "and that was hard enough. This is too much." I glance down at the grass, but I can see in my peripheral vision that Cyrus is looking straight at me, giving me his full attention as I talk. "I spent a lot of time praying to be normal, to be fixed."

"I don't think you can fix something that's not broken," Cyrus says.

"I just want this to be easier," I whisper.

"Someday it will be," Cyrus says, "but it takes time."

I take a heavy breath and let it out slowly, then ask, "Cyrus, are you gay?"

I look over at him and he's smiling gently. He's smiling. I wish I could be like that.

"Yes, I am."

The answer winds through my brain, plucking at every emotion I have. I don't know whether to be happy or terrified.

"I think I might be too," I admit.

"Awesome," Cyrus says softly.

Awesome. It makes me smile. That's the response I didn't realize I needed so badly to hear.

Then I feel his hand connect with mine as our fingers intertwine. Butterflies float up into my chest, pushing out every worry I had about this. This feels right. He makes everything feel right. I wish this were all there is—just us together holding hands. But there's a whole other world out there, and I don't know whether it will want to lift us up or stomp us into the ground.

A/N: Tragic. Yeah. Anyway, I just re-watched episode #313 and I'm crying again. I don't know what to do with myself right now, so yeah. Thanks for reading this.