Pepper never meant to lose her best friend. Lucas never meant to fall in love.
Yet the aftermath of broken hearts leads them to blur the lines of their friendship forever. When Pepper is dumped by her boyfriend and Lucas is led on by his crush, they...
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"HOW DO I dress up casually?" Lucas' wondering voice extends from his closet across the room.
I look up from the surreal illustrations of the ocean littering his sketchbook lying open on his desk to find him pushing through his clothes and shaking his head in disapproval. "What do you usually wear in these situations?"
"Pepper is the one responsible for dressing me. I can't keep up with her endless notes and advice."
I snort and go back to flipping through his sketches. "Oh, Pepper. She is a rare gem." Her speech from the other day still resonates with me like a fluttering butterfly in my chest. I'm not helping Lucas anymore, just being a friend. She's right, it doesn't make sense to put myself in that position. Giving up is my pessimistic ways conquering me. The knowledge of her secret, optimism, burns a flame in my heart.
"She really is something," Lucas agrees.
So be optimistic like her...
How the hell do I do that?
How does someone hope that the guy they like returns their feelings when he's actively pursuing someone else? You don't. At least, I wouldn't. I'd swallow the hard pill that maybe he's just not that into me and try to move on. But that makes me a hypocrite as I told him to fight for a girl who isn't that into him. Even after I told Pepper I wouldn't help him, I still showed up the second he called me in need of moral support. He always calls me. I always show up. Just how desperate can I get?
Huffing, I glance over my shoulder as he shifts through more clothes. Hangers screech back and forth with his indecisiveness. What should I do?
"You know...Pepper used to intimidate me a lot."
Lucas stiffens and looks over his broad shoulder. Emerald green eyes pierce mine and he presses his lips into a fine line.
Why did I lead with that?
"Why would she intimidate you?" His deep voice becomes gentle and curious. He turns all the way to face me, forcing my pulse to skip and stutter like a flurry of autumn leaves drifting against the wind.
I hate this control he has over me. My emotions. My actions. I've become someone new. Reckless and unpredictable. Like when I kissed him for the first time, how every wall I had ever built came crumbling down and ground into dust.
I shove my hands into my jacket pockets to hide their fidgeting and lean my waist against his desk. My voice feels strangled but comes out gentler than I ever thought possible. "A part of me always felt that you liked her." This isn't Amber. This voice, these words, they don't belong to her. "I was always scared that I'd fall for you and then you'd break up with me for her. Seeing how close you two are made me so jealous." I stare at the ground and drag my boot across his carpet to create a new pattern, turning the cream tint a darker shade. Am I really doing this right now?
