Pepper never meant to lose her best friend. Lucas never meant to fall in love.
Yet the aftermath of broken hearts leads them to blur the lines of their friendship forever. When Pepper is dumped by her boyfriend and Lucas is led on by his crush, they...
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"GORGEOUS AS ALWAYS," Mamma gushes, watching as I glide down the stairwell with anxiety rooted in the pit of my stomach. "It's so nice of Lucas to take you out. I haven't seen him in weeks." She tucks a stray curl behind my ear, and I try my best not to flinch.
Touch.
Lately, it's become increasingly difficult to allow someone to touch me or even attempt it. It's like my body fears the impending discomfort so I try to reel away from it as much as possible. Even worse, there's a deep-rooted fear down to my bones at the very thought of being alone with my best friend. I've regretted offering him a chance ever since he kissed me so suddenly after I said we could go on one date. The hope in his eyes shattered me, but receiving his affection hurt me even more. Counting down the hours to this day has been a nightmare.
I thank Mamma for the compliment and slip my favorite coat over my blouse. All the while, I am firm in keeping my gaze clear of her cocoa eyes. She's always been able to read me faster than anyone. "We've been busy with projects and stuff."
"I'm also very proud of you for finishing your work with Lena." She grins and pinches my cheek. "Mason is rubbing off on you. It's a shame you can't join us for dinner tonight."
"Don't remind me," I grumble and pull away from her. Part of me desperately wishes I could go to dinner with them just so I have an excuse to talk to Mason again. I haven't heard his voice in almost three weeks. We barely look at each other, and when we do, it's so brief because we shy away at the same time.
It's like we're actually broken up this time.
I don't know why I've yet to have the courage to bring it up to my parents. It's like a part of me fears that confirming it with them will confirm its reality. Mason and I aren't together anymore. We could be if he works out whatever issues he's struggling with. Until then, we're separated while I find a way to fix my mistake with Lucas.
There's no way I can tell them about what happened between us either. They'd no longer see him as the angel who is my best friend, but hate his guts for everything that happened that first night and all that's in between. I know this is my fault. If I had never kissed him, he never would have developed these vivid emotions for me. I've accepted responsibility for it all and am living my punishment every day. This emptiness growing like a vicious black hole inside my chest is a punishment. The missing gear in my universe that allows my galaxy to rotate, I won't get it back until I fix my mistake.
"We'll save you some leftovers." Mom plants a tender kiss against my forehead. "I'll tell the Hyeong Rhee's you said hi."
"Thanks, Mamma." I peck her rosy cheek and hug her because that's what I would normally do. Even hugging my own mother sends my body writhing in discomfort.
If only I could tell her about the events occurring in my life. If only I could cry into her and vent about the stress and sorrows corroding inside me. She'd probably scold me for the decisions I've made. They'd reprimand me for sleeping with Lucas the most. I have to fix everything before chaos can consume us and ruin every relationship in my life. Hopefully, this weekend will be the beginning of ending it all.
