Random Cookie Run Stories

[OS] Pirate feeds Dark Enchantress a carrot

A/N - I am mega sick and I know I have a request to do but I'm having a bit of writer's block with that right now, so unless they're okay with a garbage joke story for the ship then I'm not gonna attempt it yet

Pirate grabbed a carrot. Suddenly the evil mostest darkness magic power cookie ever, Dark Enchantress Cookie, appeared.
"Wot in tarnation" Pirate saidnin a very piratey way
"I am going to kill you" DE said
"But did ye eat ur veggies?" Pirate asked
"No I'm evil I have scurvy" DE said, raising her evil staff. "Now ur gonna die"
Pirate gasped. "SCURVY?? That's something us pirates do not get anymore because we are smart and eat our greens!!!!!!" He glared at Dark Enchantress. "If ye don't eat ur greens then ye get scurvy"
"Yeah I said I already have scurvy now PREPARE TO DIE"
Pirate wielded his carrot. "PREPARE TO EAT THIS CARROT"
DE laughed because that is absolutely the most stupid thing she ever heard but then Pirate shoved the carrot into her face and she screamed.
DE started running away while Pirate chased her shouting "no more scurvy! No more scurvy!"
Dark Enchantress opened up a portal and hid in it. Pirate couldn't follow because the portal closed too fast.
DE ran over to Pomegranate. "Do not open the door for ANYONE"
"Ok master" Pomegranate said. DE went into its room to calm down. There was a knock at the door to the evil fortress.
"Well master said to not open the door so I guess I won't" Pomegranate said and walked away.
Wind Archer sighed. "Geez this note said 'come to evil fortress for a great surprise' but nobody seems to be here guess I'll leave" he left.

DE was chillin in room. "Ahh it sure is nice not eating my veggies." Suddenly she heard voices. They were saying things about eating carrots.
"Wh-who's there?" DE pointed her staff around the room wildly. The voices stopped. DE lowered her staff thinking that she was probably just going more crazy than usual. But then suddenly a cookie dropped down from the ceiling causing her to scream.
"What the— Matcha??" DE sighed. "Why are you in my room talking about carrots again?"
Matcha chuckled. "Oh, but I'm not Matcha," she said, unzipping her skin and revealing Carrot Cookie!!
"Matcha quit doing this every Tuesday" DE said "you are not Carrot Cookie no matter how good your cosplay is."
Carrot Cookie chuckled again. "Look at your calendar."
DE looked. "Yeah it's Tuesday... wait." She noticed it was 2AM. "It isn't Tuesday... it's... WEDNESDAY!!!" DE screamed.
Carrot Cookie pointed her pitchfork at DE. "EAT CARROTS OR DIE"
DE screamed and ran for the door to the outside of the fortress. It was locked.
"WHY DOES THIS THING LOCK FROM THE OUTSIDE??" DE shouted. She remembered Pomegranate had the keys. "POMEGRABATE OPEN THE DOOR"
"Master told me to not open the door for anyone" Pomegranate said
"POMEGRANATE YOU STUPID FRUIT UR FIRED" DE said, hoping that pomegranates were fruits. Carrot Cookie started getting closer. DE opened up a portal and left.

Dark Enchantress looked around. She was on a pirate ship. "Oh no..." she looked to see if Pirate was there. Instead she saw a pink cookie.
"What are you doing on my ship old cookie?" Salt asked
"I dunno old man" DE said "is Pirate around?"
"Hell no I hate that guy" Salt said
"Good" DE sat down.
"Yep pirates suck and don't belong in the ocean." Salt said
"Yeah yeah— Wait.." DE looked at the ship again. "But then... why is this a pirate ship?"
"Huh?" Salt looked around. "Oh... OH NO..."
"W-what??" DE got nervous
"HE MUST BE HERE!!" Salt shouted
"WHO?" DE asked even tho it should be obvious
"ME" Pirate said. He had a carrot.
"AAAH" DE hid behind Salt "HELP ME"
"Wait why are you hiding from him?" Salt asked
"HES TRYING TO GIVE ME A CARROT SO I STOP GETTING SCURVY!!" DE said
"Oh well I don't like scurvy." Salt said, and walked to Pirate's side. "I'm teaming up with him now."
"NOOO" DE said. Pirate chuckled maliciously.
"Yes, we shall work together for once!" Pirate yollered. "Salt, FUSE WITH ME!"
They did a fusion dance and became Salty Pirate Cookie. DE screamed and teleported away thru a portal.

The portal landed DE in a carrot farm. "Oh no..." she looked around. No cookies seemed to be around. Sigh in relief. But then suddenly footsteps are heard from behind. Dark Enchantress turns to see Pomegranate.
"Oh thank goodness it's you," DE said. "I was afraid I was gonna be forced to eat a carrot!"
"And you shall..." Pomegranate said. It was dark out so DE didn't notice at first but Pomegranate was wearing a farmer outfit!!!
"WHAT THE— POMEGRANATE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU??" DE askedz
"You fired me, so Carrot Cookie offered me a job on the farm" Pomegranate said. She raised a carrot. "Prepare to eat vegetables."
DE screamed and ran in the opposite direction. After a bit of running, Carrot Cookie landed in front of her.
"EAT CARROTS OR DIE!!" Carrot screamed, wielding a carrot and a pitchfork. DE ran in another direction.
After some more running, Salty Pirate Cookie landed in front of DE. "FOUND YOU!" He said, wielding a carrot.
Dark Enchantress fired a lazer at Salty Pirate. It was so powerful that he unfused. Salt took 99% of the blast and was dying. Pirate ran over to him.
"Pirate..." Salt said. "Tell my kids... I love them..." he died.
"I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU HAD KIDS WHAT??" Pirate shouted. He turned to Dark Enchantress. "PREPARE TO EAT CARROTS!"
DE laughed. "I just remembered I have the power to kill you, just like I killed Salt!" She pointed her staff at Pirate. "What are you going to do?"
Pirate feeds Dark Enchantress a carrot.