Dork Diaries: Tales from a NOT SO Happily Ever After

The Little Dork

The black faded, and the world gradually became clearer. Then, a whisp of chestnut brown hair floated in front of me. FLOATED?! Uh oh. This was not good. I was underwater and had just waken up, seconds away from drowning. I started to hyperventilate, really, really, fast. (How can you hyperventilate under water?)

Then it dawned on me, like Brianna when she had just learned to spell her name for the first time. I was under water. I was breathing. I quickly looked down, and to my utter shock, I saw a pair of glittering emerald fins. I WAS. A. MERMAID!!!! More hyperventilating. Was I dead? Was I alive? Were a bunch of hairy whalers with a grudge trying to kill me?

Suddenly I heard a booming voice call, "Nikki, it is time for you to socialize with your sisters." Wait a minute, SISTERS?! What is this madness? I thought I only had one, major pain in the butt, headache in disguise, vegetable hating, BRIANNA.

I sighed deeply, then swam over to a tall rocky pillar that I thought was my room. Or, rather, OUR room. [Deep sigh, trying not to hyperventilate]

I managed to find an opening at the base of the pillar, with rays of light streaming through. Unhappily, I swam through the opening then looked up and gasped.

All around me, there were about a hundred mermaids inside the room, all brushing their long, voluptuous hair. There were mermaids of all shaped and sizes. All hair colors and textures. Once again, I gasped audibly. I had THIS MANY SISTERS? All of a sudden, I thought, Brianna was enough trouble. How about a hundred Briannas...

I shuddered even thinking about it.

Suddenly, I spotted two mermaids swimming rapidly towards me. One had long, almost black hair, and the other had short red hair. They both looked distinctly like-wait for it-CHLOE AND ZOEY!! Inwardly, I squeed in happiness. I wasn't stuck in this dream world ALONE!!! :)

"Hi Nikki." said Zoey. "We both wanted to say hi, since you're our favorite sister."

I could feel my jaw drop a million miles, all the way to the center of the earth. We were sisters?! Best. Dream. Ever.

Chloe gushed, "And dad, you know, king Neptune, wants to see you. You are sooo lucky!!!" Once again, I could feel my jaw drop, only a few feet this time. It was all starting to come together now. King Neptune was my dad, I had a BIJILLION sisters (but no brothers) and I was a mermaid.

It gradually occurred to me that I must have been stuck in a dream relating ME to the children's classic, The Little Mermaid. With this new, utterly SHOCKING revelation, I decided to play along with everyone, and just act like I was your regular, run of the mill, under the sea, mermaid.

"Hurry up Nikki!" Zoey urged, "Theo and Marcus are there to escort you to Dad!" Okay, I thought, Theo and Marcus are probably the fish and the lobster, so they're supposed to be like, my best friends? Yeah. My best friends were TOTALLY a couple of marine animal, while my real best friends were only a couple of my HUNDRED sisters. Completely normal, right?

I swam sheepishly outside, kind of excited to see what Theo and Marcus looked like as cute little fish...

"Yo, Nikki," Said Theo, the fish, "What's up bra?"

"Stop using Other language." Marcus, the lobster, chided.

I looked at them and giggled. Then i remembered that "Others" were probably people and I was supposed to be COMPLETELY INFATUATED WITH THEM. "Actually, I LOVE Other language. And other thingamajiggers. And Other...creatures..."

Theo and Marcus exchanged glanced. "Actually, Nikki, that's what King Neptune wanted to talk to you about. You see, he thinks you are setting yourself up for a lot of trouble, messing with Other things." Marcus frowned. Oh crap. I was going to be in sooo much trouble with my da-ahem-King Neptune. "I don't get why he won't let me study them." I fumed. "They aren't sharks or anything dangerous, so why am I forbidden to study their ways?"