Finding Dylan

Chapter 6

A few days later, Tanner and Dylan were cuddling in bed after Dylan had his morning boyfriend food.

"Good morning babe."

"Good morning."

"Did you enjoy your medicine?"

"As always. You know, I feel like it actually does make me feel smarter."

"I better watch out then. You're going to be a rocket scientist at the rate you're going!"

"I don't know about that."

"Look at how much you've learned the past three weeks! It hasn't even been that long and you've already caught up with most of what you used to know."

"I guess I must have had a really good teacher."

"Nah, I think it was just you were a great student."

"Well I definitely have a great boyfriend. You're the best."

"Thanks ... I don't know. Remember what I said in the hospital? I said I would tell you when you could understand and we could have an honest conversation about it. I think you're ready now. There isn't any reason for me to keep the truth from you any longer."

"I don't want to know."

"But you should. I hurt you."

"Stop, I don't want to know. My life is with you. Whatever happened, just leave it in the past."

"I want us to be together forever, Dylan. I want you to choose it knowing what you're getting. The way you look at me - like I can do no wrong ... On the one hand I love it and I don't want to lose it, but on the other, there's no way it can last. I'm not perfect. You're going to find that out. And I just want you to be prepared because I don't want to lose you."

"You won't. Look, I know you can't really be as perfect as I'd like to think. But I don't want to stop looking at you that way. You're everything to me. I can't imagine my life without you and I don't think there's anything you could tell me that would change my mind, so I'd rather not know."

"I just don't want you to feel trapped. Like you have to stay with me because you're dependent on me. You should know you have options. You would be able to get alimony. What happened was my fault."

"Well I choose you. I know you have a secret you feel guilty about, but it doesn't matter. You're going to have to get used to having a boyfriend who adores you. I'm not going anywhere."

"OK, I respect your decision. And if you ever do want to know more, just ask. I'll always be honest with you. I'll always try to give you what you need. And maybe you need to me to be your knight in shining armor more than you need the truth right now."

"Just be yourself Tanner. No armor required, especially not anything that gets between me and that body of yours."

"I wish I could see myself the way you do. I've never been happy with my body. I hate how small it is. I've always wanted to be more muscular, like Quentin or Logan."

"I'm glad you're not. You're way more attractive than either of them! That's one area you really are perfect, physically, just the way you are."

"If you say so."

"You think I'm smart, right? You should believe me on this one."

"It's not that simple when it comes to body image, but I know you have a point. And I do think you're smart."

"Smart enough to go back to college?"

"Is that what you want?"

"It's important to me to finish my education, and I want to try to finish the term. I've already missed a few weeks, so I hope I can go back before I get too far behind."