Two Gay Guys in the City

Eppisode 4 the day he saw them another Ryland monolouge

I've known since I was born that something was wrong with me. That I wasn't ok that I was strange. But I just can't help wishing that I was normal. Now I have some fucked up power. What the hell. I think the first time I used my power was when I was four years old. I remember some dumb ass kid took my ball and  I somehow looked at him and without saying a word he dropped to the floor and I got it back. It's like I can control people. It's strange. I also remember that when I was little when I closed my eyes I saw dead souls. My mom told me that I would smile at night and then after a while I just kinda frowned. I remember that one day the souls just disappeared and I had dreams about the most wild things in the whole world. I was able to do what ever I wanted but all I wanted to do was to see the souls agin. I didn't want to sing with famous people or to swim in the largest pool imaginable. I just wanted to enjoy the company of those as pained as me. I didn't why I couldn't summon them. I thought I had done something wrong. I wanted to die so I could go and visit them. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I didn't understand that it was a good thing that I didn't see them. Because that's when my true potential came. I just thought I was a good manipulator but I was actually controlling people's souls. No, not their minds! Their souls. The things that all live inside of us. Those things that make us love, live, breath and want. The things that escape us when we die. The things that devils trade. I had control of them. I didn't know but I was basically a god. I haven't been able to use my powers in so long. And now they're coming back to me and I don't know how to feel. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know anymore. I just sometimes want to kill myself because I know that I'm a huge threat. I know that with a snap of my fingers I could hurt to someone. But I don't know how to fix myself. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I don't even know I wanna  get rid of my powers. I'm terrified of telling Gray my one and only. My daddy. My Geylie. My lovie. I just I don't think I can be with him right now.

"Dear Graylie,
I have to leave for a little bit. I need to get out of the city and discover who I am by going yo a cabin I the woods. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you and just, just know that I love you so u h and I'll always love you. I...mhumph...I'm in love with you and I don't want to hurt you. So I need to leave.  I need to leave for a while. I love you. I love you. And I'll always love you."Tear drops stain the page as he writes. "I love you. And I never want to hurt you ever."

"You're lover and you're one and only insane bitch, Ryl"

I can't be around him. I can't be around my family. I need to leave I need to figure out how to use my powers and not hurt anyone.
And maybe I'm insane maybe I've smoked too much weed but...No, no. I need this I need to figure this out. I need to leave. So I'll pack my bags and hit the road tonight. I don't know when I'll come back. I may never come back.