Useless necessities

Loving a narcissist

Before we dive into this poem, this is what I wrote down when I first left him and was going through those waves of emotions if anybody is going through anything like this please message me, I am here for you

This is the letter I will never send you, this is the letter on how much pain you left me in when you broke up with me and how I would yell and scream and cry and beg for you, this is the letter of me crying Every day because I fucking miss you and I don't need you but I want you. You actually made me happy for the first time in a long time, I'm not used to happy I'm used to pain and betrayal and I think why this hurt me so bad was because I never expected it to come from you, someone who I thought loved me. But you don't destroy the people you love. No you never hit me and you were good too me but it was all an act, a manipulation so you could get what you wanted from me. Sure we agreed at first this marriage was only for benefits but we started dating and I like I said you made me happy. Made me feel safe and secure and that's something I haven't felt in my entire life. You wanted to take me away from people who I thought were my enemies but in reality it was me that was holding myself back, because these people are here to pick up the pieces you left my heart in. I fell in love with you, maybe the person you pretended to be. At first you took me out on dates and seemed to enjoy spending time with me, but the more we got to know each other I noticed the real you "let's go see a movie!" I would say and you wasn't feeling like it so we never went out. We only went out to eat when YOU were hungry. You never wanted to take me out to dinner or anything. I don't know what has happened to you in life to make you lack empathy and to hate and use people but I'm sorry. And that night I had a feeling you wasn't over your ex and I cried to you about her you told me in your own words "why would I mess up a good thing we have?" Why did you? I done everything for you. I bent over backwards for you and got nothing in return you left me high and dry like the way a vampire will drain its victims, that's what you did to me, you drained every bit of emotion and self happiness out of me. I am so much better off without you.