Buzz

Panic At The Gate

Will POV

Green eyes. Much more than green eyes. Him. I saw him. And then my vision clouded.

I wanted him dead.

I wanted him dead for all the pain, heartache and worthlessness he made me feel. The heart wrenching feeling of knowing that he was right there. He was so close. I felt disgusted - repulsed. He's a monster. I hate him.

I hate he's green, mossy eyes. I hate his happy-go-lucky attitude. I hate his alpha male tendencies.

I hate him.

He left me...how could he leave me after begging me not to leave. The mere memory makes my blood pump acid. Sitting on the rooftop, blisters and all, hoping that he'd come back.

He didn't.

Fuck you Matt.

I packed my bags - what little I had - and flung it over my shoulder. I can't be here with him. I can't.

Logan rushed into the tent, "Are you okay? Wait, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing", my voice was full of venom. It wasn't aimed at Logan obviously.

"Will I know that he hurt you but that's no reason for you to leave..."

"Logan you don't understand, he did much more than hurt me and leave me on a rooftop, which gave me blisters for two weeks."

I turned to Logan and I was afraid of his answer yet I asked him, "Are you coming with me or are you staying?"
I disguised my voice as cold but in reality it was hopeful. Hopeful that he would stay with me, that he would help guide me through this confusing maze that is now my life.

He looked pensive, he really did, yet slowly he shook his head no. I swallow the bitter disappointment that seemed to go down like swallowing a ball of needles, regardless I nodded my head and flung my bag over my shoulder.

"Will don't go...just stay... we can figure this out together, it doesn't have to be this way we can... we can figure this out", he reached to put his hand in my shoulder and I violently shook it off.

"YOU'RE LEAVING ME TOO", I roared at him.

"Will calm down" and he reached to pull me into a hug but I shoved him off.

"Don't you dare touch me... DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!"

Logan took a step back his eyes widened. I could see the white of his eyes and I could see how they reflected the fear - making them shimmer.

The same fear I saw on Matt's face long ago. I felt the sadness before I even realised it was there - as if it lunged at me.

"I hate people like you...people who build others up just so you can break them down. I despise people like Matt. People like you, Logan."
I turned around and trudged out of the tent. The sun was still high in the sky yet it's glow seemed less bright - dulled in some way...

People started making a line as I approached the gate. I hid two daggers in my sleeves for situations like these.

I am leaving this place. I am leaving it alive.

I reached the solid steel bar that was the gate. Standing in front of it - looking equally tall - was Valarie.
Her arms were crossed, her trusted sword leaning against her right leg and her ever present stoic expression was still stamped on.

"You've decided to go?" She wasn't asking me, she was putting on a show for the crowd. I didn't mind, I was oozing depression and some sick part of myself wanted the humiliation.

"Yes", I all but whispered. I saw the tiniest glint of sympathy in her eyes before it was invaded by the frost in her eyes. The sympathy wasn't for what already happened, it was for what's about to happen.

"You are pathetic. A mess. Acting solely on your emotions resulted in a good guard nearly losing his life over some petty quarrel."

Anger, desperation and depression swelled and twirled within me. Depression won.

"And yet you have the audacity to say you've 'decided to leave'? You're dangerous and insolent. Petulant and unstable. You can no longer stay here. Leave."

I hung my head, willing the tears back. Time for crying is later not now. I saw Logan from the corner of my eye as the groaning of the gate filled my ears. He just stood there, molding in with the crowd. Well I hope he's happy here. Maybe I'm made to be alone?

I flung my bags over my shoulder and took a step before a voice shouted out, "Wait!"

A division immediately formed allowing the small shape to enter the spotlight that was Valarie's focussed glare.

"Gloria this isn't any of your business, leave."

To speak to others like that is okay but to speak to Gloria like that just upset me, I was about to open my mouth when Gloria cut me off.

"I am leaving. I'm leaving with Will."

This caught Valarie by surprise - I saw it. I wouldn't mind having Gloria along with me. I think it would be better for her, no one else really treats her like a human anymore.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're too old to leav-"

"I'm leaving Valarie. That's it. What reason is there for me to stay when the only person who speaks to me is leaving? This crowd, all of them, they're your family...but they aren't mine. They can't forgive what my son did. Even in death my baby is hated so vehemently... Even in death you, his wife, are still sad. This is no place for me."

"YOU HAVE WORK TO DO, SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE", she roared at the crowd. The crowd instantly dispersed.

Valarie was losing control - I could see it in her trembling hands. She whirled to face Gloria, "Please stay. Please. I can't do this without you. I can't do this without him. Please Gloria. I'll make sure people treat you better - I'll force them t-"

Gloria put her hand on Valarie's cheek, "Hush baby girl, if Will is leaving, so am I."

Valarie turned to me with panicked eyes, "Stay. Just stay, you've been forgiven. I'll kick that guard out. Please just stay." She was on the edge, and it was frightening.

"Valarie, I can't sta-" she shrieked, drew her sword and swiped at my chest.

But not before I raised my sleeves that had the strapped on daggers. There was a shriek of metal against metal until we stood still. Something snapped in her eyes. As if she had just woken up now. She glared at me but didn't have to speak for the message to be portrayed.

Nothing will happen to Gloria.

And so Gloria and I left the camp - out into the world I much preferred. Out here the monsters are visible. In that camp...they could be anybody.

"We should find a place before the sun sets or the mosquitoes will eat us alive."

"I hate insects", but nodded.