Early Initiation Mate Part 1&2

EIM PART 1- Chapter 18: Giving up

Trigger self harm dont read if you cant read it. Just a WARNING. "My name is Chip Green." He paces back and forth, his hand on his mouth rubbing his sexy luscious lips. Out of no where he turns away from me and say. "It doesn't matter anyways your leaving now. Your go to your pack and never coming back here." Ass hat really thinks I deserve to be talked to like that. "I am my own person. I am obviously supposed to be here if I'm not dead after crossing the vail. We both know we're mates I have been through this before, been betrayed by my first mate I can handle a rejection just fine thank you. As for me leaving no can do."

As what I said sunk in Chips knuckles started turning white. He was squeezing the steering wheel so hard we both herd a clunk. The car was jerking I was getting tossed left and right as the car was swerving. I felt Chips arm push me into my seat to protect me a bit. When the car finally stopped, we couldn't look away from each other. For just a short moment I noticed the vibration of tingles around my chest area. I look down an see his hand had slipped into my shirt on the skin, above my breast. I looked back at him he noticed what I had processed and swiped his had off. He swallowed loudly. And cautiously but blunt said "We have to walk from here." He kept looking straight ahead till he made the first move an opened the door to get out.

We started walking down a dusty road with trees and rocks leading down it. It was such a straight stretch you could see nothing but road and trees. We continued for a what felt like hours. It was getting dark and I was ready for sleep. I don't know about Chip here but I'm ready to call it a night. "Are we almost wherever your taking me?" He didn't reply. Okay then I guess this means I'm taking things into my own hands again.

I step back slowly making his steps leave me far enough behind to do what I must. Just as I thought the coast was clear I shifted. My dumb luck he caught me just in time but Xena wanted to play. Plus, she just got her heart broken why shouldn't she be aloud some free time to let loose. She was running past trees, jumping over logs, and eating mice as she ran along. Finally, after hours of running it was pitch black out. Her ears lifted to hear our new mate. Out of no where she gets on all fours and positions herself for an attack. I'm pushing with everything I must pull her back but it's not working. I can feel the anger pulsing thru her. She hates this mate, Xena was showing me the flash back at the hospital. He called her a mutt; said he would never mate ever. I understand now that pain simmered at the bottom of her heart trying to numb it.

"What do you think........Mia?" He started saying angry, but that soon turned to fright when he noticed my wolf. "Come on now I'm not playing here shift now." Xena was snapping her teeth at Chip. Her warning growl was enough he stopped dead in his tracks scared of her. Scared of me. Taking the moment Xena let her guard down I shifted back. I stayed low so he wouldn't see my naked body I asked him for a shirt. He took his off and thru it at me. It hit me in the face an embarrassingly knocked me down with my breast on full display for him. He stepped forward to help, but I flinched away in fear. I was embarrassed enough so I just put the shirt on and started to cry. "I just want to go home now." I let out feeling like things just couldn't get worse.

He nodded his head as we walked to this small cabin not far from were, I shifted back. "You can stay here tonight; I will contact alphas to see who is willing to take in a rouge. While we find your pack." Not agreeing I speak up. "But I don" Not allowing me to finish he cuts in. "That's final. Youre not welcomed here. I don't want you." Just as he says that I felt a pain in my chest thinking it was just from chips word until it rippled quickly. The pounding was hard and excruciating. The kind when a mate is unfaithful. But now Chip is ranting. "Your wolf knows were not meant to be, she showed that clearly to both of us tonight." My chest feels like in breaking into my body. But he keeps going not even noticing me. "The pixies and fairies aren't safe with you here especially if your and rogue." I just turned around and agreed just before passing out as a blur covered my vision and the pain of my ex mating his lover. I thought hard about everything in my life.

When I awake, the first thing I notice is some a small stream with water so clear I didnt think twice before drinking. Looking around I seen Chip stared at me like I was crazy. "Sorry I was really thirsty". Raising his eyebrow and shanking his head slightly. Still confused on how we got here, chip must have seen the look on my face and said, "You passed out for an hour, so I brought you here in case someone saw you". Staring at the stream I was wondering about random thoughts and I wondered if me leaving Gerard would make him happy. I wondered if he ever thought of me. Then thoughts of Chip rang thru. Hearing how I'm not good enough or safe enough as a mate will shut any were wolf down. Our main job is to protect whats ours. After I was fully up Chip and headed out to wherever he thought I belonged. He looked kind of sad to see me so pathetic and knowing what was causing it, and I hated it. Still feeling week Chip slowed his pace and told me "We're going to be sleeping at a hotel for the rest of the night".

We headed in the front doors of a hotel not to far from the road we were on. Once inside Chip does the talking and gets our room. I stand far enough back but hear a bang. I look at whats going on an and he has broken their des top. I put my hand on him in a friendly an ask what's up. He just says, "Never mind lets just go." He swipes the key and walked ahead of me toward I assume our rooms are. My hand no longer touching him. I look back at the clerk and she say rudely. "That's coming off his card you know." I just smiled and nodded as I follow chip.

As we approach a room, he opens the door and guided me in. To my surprise he follows suit. I look at him with an eyebrow raised. And search the room but all I see is one bed no couch nothing but a bed nightstand dresser an TV. "Well then .... I need a shower." Grabbing my school bag and walking to the bathroom I lock the door and sit down. Reaching over I turn the regular taps on an let the shower run. Xena came out of no where and was howling in my mind. I start crying feeling her pain and mine. Im tired of all the thoughts. Im over all the bull shit. One look in the medicine cabinet and I new my sign was clear. I finally can be free. I knew what I was about to do. I grab a pen and paper and start.

I don't know you well Chip. Not that I think you would have let me. I don't remember much of my mom and dad. They left me with Timberwolves when I shifted to early. There was an earthquake and my pack couldn't bring me back to my parents. I was raised in that pack till I found my first mate. He cheated and betrayed me. Then I ran looking to help my wolf "Xena by the way" to move on. She was so hurt but she tracked me down to the Vail. I know I was supposed to be here but know I don't think I care to know why. I had little faith you would treat me better then my first mate but now I can move on an be at piece. I'm not doing this because I want you and cant have you. I could deal with that. It's all the pain you guys put on my wolf she was meant to have a soul mate. Someone to make her the best she could be. Someone to hold her an see when she's in pain and fix it. I know now I'm not that for you. The pain isn't worth sticking around. My ex mate is still linked to me every time he lays with a female, I feel like I'm being shredded apart. Only you could fix that by accepting me and you made it clear that's not happening. I truly hope you find a better and worthy mate that makes you so happy.

Never yours Mia RedBlood

I placed the paper in the wedge of the mirror and frame. I get undressed slip into the shower sitting under the water. There was a knock at the door then Chip demands. "Hurry up in there, not much hot water." I roll my eyes, pick up the blade and stare at it. Just then a huge sudden wave of pain hits me. Again, are you fucking kidding me. Right when I'm at my lowest Gerard is fucking her again. As the waves of pain continue, I force thru it. Knowing it will last until he is done his business was horrible enough, I cant see a life in pain like this. The worst part, thinking about Chip doing this as well. Just that thought caused me more desperation to finish this. Before I notice how easy it was the blade started sinking deeper. I watched as the skin spit apart an opened up to my meaty flesh. The blood started to pour out. Feeling a little bit dizzy an adrenaline rush. I drop the blade and feel my body fading out. Finally, some peace.

Sorry for the trigger if anyone else has been thru this. It's not just words or the way we feel if you or anyone you know feels like this please speak to someone.