The Things We Love and Lose

Chapter 20

"Forgive me," I said to the door, my fingers brushed on the transparent glass and gazed at the numb body laid on the bed. "I should have fought harder for you."

Could she even hear me when no response escaped her lips? Could she even see I was regretful for not convincing her parents to look at her and the next day she had been raped because my ego was hurt?

"Mom," Hearing her voice, I turned to face my son and gasped at the state of his clothes. As if noticing, he added, "Alina's blood." Oh. But his cream kurta was spotted with darkness so deep that I couldn't think of washing it. "She bled a lot." I could see from your clothes. "When did you come?"

"Just now," I replied, hugging my clothes to my chest. This day was supposed to be full of light and brightness, not of horror on my children faces. "Where is Nisha?"

"Rahul," He replied. "Canteen."

"Rishi?" I treaded on smooth line but his face clenched and the anger rushed back on his face. I wish he would do nothing as stupid as his father one day. I wish I could make him see he couldn't date Alina. I wish I could do something but I had an exact thought that if I denied, he would raise hell on me. "You shouldn't have fought him in the hospital."

"Don't teach me manners right now," He mumbled, scowling. "You will never understand it." I do, Kabir, I do understand Alina. "You should go home."

"So, should you."

"I am not leaving her alone."

"Kabir—"

"No, mom," He replied harshly. From the back, Arnav shook his head to leave him alone. "I am not leaving her alone. I did once and look she is in hospital because of me."

"She is not."

"It is my mistake. I kept on pushing her to tell me. I forced her to come to me again and again. I knew she was raped, okay?" He hissed, clutching his fist. "But I told no one. I should have. He was living in her house. I hate her." He shook his head. "I hate her for lying to me. He could have. He must have." He breathed harder. "I—" He sat down on the chairs, burying his fingers in his hair.

From the corner of my eye, I found Arnav sitting next to him and engulfing him in his arms. I wish I could change the whole life of ours, could bring back Udisha in our life, could make Kabir not indulge with Alina, could restrict Nisha to not befriend Alina, could change my own past.

Cupping my mouth, I tried to ignore his silent crying in the middle of the hospital.

He loves her.

And Arnav understood his pain.

From distance, Arnav shook his head to not remember the past but how not to when our positions were reversed? Gasping, I trudged out of their sight but halted at Shekar's figure, shaking his head at the doctor's word but later calmed down, and nodded tightly.

Four hours ago, he looked so young and vibrant.

And now, he appeared defeated.

Raising his eyes, he met mine, tried to hide his shock but mumbled, "Kabir and Nisha." I nodded. "Funny. You despise me but yet your children befriended my daughter. Your son claims to love her."

"Careful," I growled. "I don't despise you. It is your actions I hate." He nodded. "You suck as a father, you know? Don't expect pity from me after what I learned."

"I am not a great fan of myself either," He said dryly. "Maybe your words will turn true when my daughter decides to leave me."

My voices softened, "I have lost a daughter too, Shekar." Pity reflected on his eyes. "Alina will live."