The Things We Love and Lose

Chapter 9

The journey from my home to his place was filled with silence and despair. I kept my stare outside the window, he kept his stare on the road even though I felt him sparing a glance now and then but I responded to none, stayed silent and pondered how I could run away from my own wedding in front of everyone. Technically, I had eloped with the man who claimed to love me, and in other sense, instead of calming me, it did nothing other than representing itself as a fact.

A fact he loved me.

A fact something happened last night.

A fact I had no idea what happened and my life seemed like a black deep hole.

Halting his car outside a strange building, I was about to ask where we are but he beat into it. "You don't mind staying alone with me?" Alone? Where was his family? Could I face them when I had never met any one of them? "I promise I will not do something." I didn't know if I could trust anyone after last night. "You will have a different room. If I do something." Silver shined on my lap as he placed a knife, too sharp and pointed. "Use this. See you are armed now."

"But you know fighting," I mumbled, curling my hand around the black handle and felt the heaviness. Had he gone mad? But it gave relief to know I had something, to know I wasn't disarmed this time.

"I don't raise hands on girls," With those words, he mounted off the car whilst I sat, peering at the knife in my hand, and for a split second, I thought something I shouldn't and quickly left the car to see the strange building.

I had never been here.

Nodding, he gave the car keys to the security guard and carried us inside the building to the fifteenth floor of his apartment. Switching on the lights, I was welcomed by the soft brown and cream sitting area accompanied by the kitchen in another corner, the light golden lights creating a soothing ambiance.

"When I came to India, I didn't exactly stay with my family," He informed, placing my bag to the side. "I bought this place. Some days I come here to escape." When he heard no response from my side, he flashed a quick smile. "Do you need something?"

"Rest."

"Sure." He pointed to the door at the corner of the hall. "You can use that room. But before you need to eat something." I was about to protest when he silenced my protests. "You need to take your medicines. You forgot them at the clinic."

I didn't want to take anything. I didn't care if I caught something. I didn't care if I would end up pregnant. All I desired was to lay down on the bed and sleep even if it was possible anymore. What if I slept and they came again? What if I remember nothing in the morning again? What if Arnav came and I remember nothing?

What was the point of the knife?

The bell rang, and he opened it to take two pizza boxes and closed it shut. "Your favorite. Pepperoni." I grabbed the box from his hand and asked about my medicines. He relieved it from his inner pocket and passed it to my hands. From the free hand, I took care of the bag and went to the room and shut the door, locking it.

If he was disappointed with the lack of company, he said nothing and let me fall down on the floor behind the door. Furiously, I threw the adorning jewelry around the room, screaming because nothing made sense anymore in my life, nothing made sense as I threw the stuff around his room. I was a guest here but I overstayed my presence by screaming and crying within the four walls.

Hurt me physically but why shatter me from within? Why gave me a punishment where I remember nothing?

"I know it is hard," His voice came from outside the room.