DEIMOS (Alpha of Alphas)✔️

Cronus

A/N
Play the song, portrays the female protagonist's feelings for the first part of the chapter.

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War. I am at war with myself. While he, my mate tears open my heart day by day with his indulgence with Theia, I cannot seem to find hate for him within me rather just a seed of hope blooming like a flower every day. When her fingertips slide across his chest he's shooting an arrow straight through my ribs. When her lips meet the shell of his ear to whisper sweet nothings he's ripping my skin off my bones and when he smiles at her with that gentle look in his eyes, he has finally left me to die on the cold ground as nothing but a heap of bones.

Deimos, my male. Tell me what must I do? Tell me how should I behave? Tell me how to move past the pain you inflict on me. Tell me how can I... survive. I wish to ask him these questions. But how can I when all his eyes do is watch her every moment? How can I when his lips curve into a smile when hers do as well? How can I when his fingers shake just so they can feel the warmth of her flesh? How can I...when his heart finds her worthy to rule by his side.

After our last argument, we have kept away from each other. He has done so as his interests remain elsewhere and I have as a shield to protect my heart from further damage. I barely leave my room unless it's for my females or I need a new book to distract myself. But that doesn't mean I cannot see him. Every time I close my eyes all I see is him. All I smell is him and all I feel...is him.

Opening the doors to the balcony walking up to the railings looking up at the sky. I close my eyes taking in a deep breath, the day breeze softly pushing my hair backwards my loose white dress flowing with its direction. The sun's rays warming my cold flesh and drying my wet cheeks. Is this how I will live from now on? Alone with no one by my side. Am I destined to be alone? I have thought about these questions a thousand times but I still cannot seem to find my answer.

A sound makes my ears perk up and my eyes shoot open looking straight at the trees and widen when I catch hold of Deimos. He runs straight into pack grounds shifting from wolf to human while grabbing his shorts off the trunk and putting them on. Lifting his head to the sky he does the same as I did, taking a deep breath in enjoying the soothing scent of nature. We are similar in this way I presume. Slowly opening his eyes he looks straight into mine. I do not look away from him, rather I hold them right where they are. We are looking at each other after quite a while.

What does he see when he looks at me? Does he wish it was Theia in my place? We do not move, just look into the eyes of each other. He watches me with his serious gaze while I wonder what my eyes show to him. Our intense bond is broken by Theia's entrance as she carries a towel while strolling towards him in fast steps. Handing it to him with a gentle smile, he takes it and once more turns his attention to me while she speaks to him of something I cannot hear. My eyes begin to sting with the picture in front of me, while he watches me. No, while he observes me. I do not wish to give him the satisfaction and walk back into my room closing the curtains.

Not wanting to spend another minute wallowing in my self-pity. I walk to where my females often sit, I need to distract my mind. Books don't seem to be helping me anymore. Elriam breaks into a sprint as soon as I am within her view, touching our foreheads together we say our feelings without the need for words. Our very own connection. Sitting with my females, my time seems to pass by without any problems clearing my mind of painful thoughts for a while.

Our chatter is interrupted by Ragon who walks towards us with a gentle look on his face as he regards me. "Forgive me Luna, but you all are requested to come to the main gates. We are welcoming someone today." He bows as he speaks.