I don't wanna lose you ~Janiel

Part 4

I didn't get much sleep that night or at all. The dead silence in the room made me uncomfortable and I was afraid that if I fell asleep just for a moment something would happen without me knowing.

As much as I didn't want to admit it I knew I couldn't do this alone. The constant fear of something happening to him while I'm not in the room was to unbearable. I decided to call my friend Hope and told her to come to the hospital immediately.

I waited in the hallway right outside Joey's room pacing the floor and biting my nails. Every now and then I would peek my head in the door to check on him. I can only imagine how insane I must have looked but as long as Joey was barely hanging on for dear life I didn't care what anyone thought of me.

Were is she? I thought to myself. She has to get here soon. I realized I was being inpatient but I didn't know how much longer I could go without having a full mental breakdown in the ICU.

"Daniel?" I heard from down the hall. I turned around. "Hope? Oh my God!" I ran toward her right into her arms she held me tight as I started to cry for about the 10th time that night.

"Shhhh." She said. "It's okay. Everything is going to be alright." I pulled away slowly and wiped away my tears with my fist.

"How is he?" "He's stable. For now at least. There gonna do some tests to make sure..." I paused for a long moment. "Daniel? To make sure what?" "...To make sure he isn't brain dead."

She stared at me wide eyed and jaw dropped. "Oh my God! Was it- how- What?!"

"Apparently the impact was pretty bad." "Yeah?!" She was in shock Just as I was hearing the news.

"Can I see him?" "Of course. Come on." She followed me down the hall to his room. I opened the squeaky door and we walked in. Her face was like a mirror image of what mine was the first time I saw him like that.

She walked up to his bedside and dropped to her knees she began sulking her eyes out and I quickly joined her. "How could this happen to such an innocent soul." She sobbed. "We both know he doesn't deserve this." I added. "He doesn't deserve to lay there suffering and helpless."

"Hope?" She turned around and looked at me, her eyes blood shot. "Earlier you said that everything was going to be okay?" She nodded. "Yes?" "Do you still believe that." Once again the room went silent for a minute. "...I...I don't know. Maybe?" I could tell that the second she saw him all her faith was lost. She didn't believe everything was going to be alright. She had gotten a glimpse of reality and what she saw she didn't want to believe and neither did I.

"Do you?" She asked. "I don't know." She nodded slightly. "I mean I want to believe that he'll be okay but..." "It's hard. I know but we have to stay strong it's what Joey would want." "Yeah, I just hope he knows how much I love him." I walk up to the bed and start stroking his forehead again softly. "I'm sure he does." "No, the last thing I did with him was fight. I said things I wish I could take back." "That doesn't determine weather or not you love him. I mean I fight with my friends and family all the time but I know they still love me and I love them."

I stare down at the floor trying not to make eye contact. "Hey." She says I look up at her slightly. "everything is going to be alright."