Whether you like it or not Sanem

Part 4

Can didn't want to wake his cutie up, but he couldn't help but extend his hand to remove a strand of hair away from her face. After doing so, he remembered all those times he stroked her hair and her tiny face and how she found that pleasantly surprising every time he did it... and how she chuckled so cutely... He never really expected Sanem to be as strong as she apparently turned out to be. When he reluctantly told her he decided to go to the Balkan, he was expecting her to break down, to apologise (for the 100th time) for lying to him, to beg him to stay, etc. Never in a million years did he imagine her telling him off the way she did then and making him feel that guilty for hurting her with the break-up. Also, he never imagined that she was going to give up on him this quickly. And then that Yigit guy also appeared, and things got more complicated.

While he was carrying her to his car, she kept hitting his back and shouting at him. And when he put her in the car and fastened her seatbelt against her will, she tried to quickly unfasten it to get off the car, so he had to lock her door and go quickly to the driver seat to start the car, even though he knew well she didn't know how to handle this seatbelt, just in case. He had to talk to her alone, with no people around. He was missing their conversations, her tea, her smile, her childish and innocent moves, her stories, her eyes, her lips, her love, her everything... He had to show her that he was suffering way more than she was because of this break up... then maybe, just maybe, she would forgive him.

When he sat in the car and started it, she said angrily:

"So you think you've done something clever now? Imprisoning me in this seat, knowing well I always find it difficult to use this seatbelt? This can't continue for long, so don't be that happy! The minute we stop somewhere and we have to get out of the car, I will run away!"

"Sanem, please. Stop shouting first. We have to talk. Please stop fighting and acting crazily and calm down.

"Acting crazily? Look who's talking! Doing what you did in the archive room after we broke up just to prove a point, and then carrying me like that with my head upside down in front of those people in the office and kidnapping me is a really sane thing to do wallah!"

"Your cynicism has reached a new level, I can see. Sanem. I know that probably I shouldn't have done what I did but admit that you liked the first part of it, and that you gave me no other choice but to take you away by force."

"I liked the first part of it! And I? I gave you no choice? Wallahi Can bey, it's either you have amnesia or you're acting dumb!" She stopped talking foe a second, and then she went back to talking, but to herself this time. "You know what? There is no point of talking logically to somebody who isn't stable: one day all he talks about is the Balkans, Polen's extraordinary skills and stuff, the next he's like 'we need to talk'."

"So now you're not even addressing me? Ok, then... HE has been acting so foolishly in the past few days and wants to say sorry to you."

For a second Sanem was dumbfounded and she felt like she didn't understand. "Who is he?"

"The he you were talking about just now. Sanem, don't make this sound weirder than it is; please calm down a little bit... I dunno maybe try to sleep until we reach our destination; maybe there we can have a decent and logical conversation... please...."

Sanem was on the verge of protesting again, but suddenly she felt like she also was desperate to talk to him in private without anyone interfering. She wanted to see where this conversation was going to lead. She also suddenly had some hope that he might change his mind and not travel, as she knew that once he did, her mask of strength was going to shatter and she was going to break down. In addition to all this, she suddenly felt so tired and sleepy that a few moments of silence were enough to make her doze off.

This sleeping beauty is his real little angel, who he hurt with his pride and stubborn stupidity, and whose waking self he had probably changed for good. How he wished he could turn back time and undo what he had done and unsay what he had said to her in his hut that night and in the car park! Yet he was all hope that she might forgive him. He continued stroking her hair while driving and wishing she remained this angelic when she woke up.

An hour and a half passed... It was a long drive to that resort, and they definitely needed something to eat on the way and probably to go to the restroom. So he tried to remember a good place to stop, and to his relief he remembered that there was a place just a few minutes away. But this meant that she might do what she threatened to do and try to run away from him... but would she? And if she did, he would be terrified of idea of her alone trying to hitchhike to go back to the city with who knows who. He had to do something. So he decided pull his car aside for a bit to wake her up and test her reactions now before he stopped at that café on the way.

He started calling her softly, "Sanem, hayatim..."

HAYATIM!!!! Sanem, who was pretending to be asleep all this time, was on the verge of shedding a tear now and exposing herself. It had been a long time since he called her hayatim, and the mere fact that he did now made her so emotional and made her regret all the things she said to him today.

She waited a bit.

"Sanem..." he whispered again in her ear. This time, his breath brushing her ear and face softly was too much for her. Her eyes started brimming over, her nose started shaking, and she was forced to open her teary eyes and look at him...

The sight of her tears again made his heart sink. "Don't cry... please don't cry... you don't know what your tears do to me... please, my love..."

She couldn't say a word at this moment. All she could do is bury her face in his chest and start sobbing like a little child.

"Shshshsh... everything is going to be OK... Sanem, I'm sorry, I really am... I was acting monstrously out of anger, but I will make it up for you, I promise... What did you use to call me? Kötü kral? Well, seems like I really was bad, very bad!"

She couldn't help but chuckle amidst her tears. This is her Can. This is the man she fell in love with at first sight, and the one she later learned not just to love but to adore and worship. Where had he been all this time? What happened to them? Who jinxed them? She continued thinking while sobbing her anger and desperation away in his arms, in the place she would like to spend the rest of her life.

"My Bebek... my precious baby... stop crying now... I can do anything to make you stop crying... just tell me and I'll do it"

"Just shut up and hold me! Just hold me like this for a while..."

He kissed her head and said, "I can hold you like this forever, my love... I love you my little angel"

To them this was all they needed to forget the unnecessary bitterness and desperation they caused to themselves. They don't even know how long they stayed in this position. All they know is that it was starting to get really dark now and Can wanted to reach the resort as soon as they can before the night falls".

"Hayatim, don't you feel hungry?"

"Oh, yes! As usual, hungry all the time when you're around."

"This explains why you lost those three kilograms in a few days"

"I know it is clear I am a bit skinnier than before, but how did you know they are three?"

"Well... if I remember correctly, I have carried you many times before, a few times before our stupid break up, and one just a few hours ago, right?"

Sanem suddenly remembered that embarrassing scene they made in the office.

"Can, how will I ever be able to face those who saw you carrying me like that again?"

"You will, you will, don't worry! Things will be so different when we get back that you definitely won't care about that anymore"

"How?"

"You'll know how later, my love. I can't tell you now; it's a surprise"He kissed her hand and then gave her a little bite as usual to make herchuckle, and said, "now let's go have something to eat first, because we stillhave an hour's ride and I don't intend to make you lose a few other kilogramsjust because I decided to kidnap you. You won't run away, will you?"

[to be continued...]