Patient [s.m]

3

- Shawn's View -

The words I can recite by heart go in one ear and out the other. For the first and last time, my family are all sitting by the side of the ring watching me fight. Jasmine beams as she plays with her wedding ring and gives me a wink. Santino takes a drink from his glass and doesn't even wince as the liquor goes down his throat - that's my boy! Sebastian breaks half of a churro and shares it with Bella, who looks at something on her phone.

"Hey, dad!" Bella says. She waves from the sidelines, her shiny gold Pom in her hand and a bold smile on her face.

"Hi baby!" I say as I wave back to her.

The school hand begins to play and I take out my phone and record as she begins to do a sideline dance with the rest of her team.

"One of the two sophomores on varsity." Jasmine says to me. "Inner cheerleader Jasmine is screaming."

"One day she's gonna be on the sidelines for me." I tell her.

"Oh good luck getting her to attend something that isn't dance related."

"Boxing involves me being quick on my feet. This is something like dancing."

"I want a clean fight." The referee says. I nod my head and look at my opponent. Usually I'd judge him based on his frame and build, but you never know the type of punch someone can give. "Touch gloves."

I touch the glove of my opponent, a new hopeful in the boxing world. Jordan Cole from a small city in Texas. He reminds me so much of myself when I just started. Except he's got someone on the sidelines for him unlike I did.

"Good luck." I mutter to him through my mouth guard. The bell rings and I glance at my sideline as I begin to hop back.

"Dancing is very much like boxing." Bellissima tells me as I drove her from her dance lesson.

"In what ways?" I ask her.

"You have to be very quick on your feet. Like a bunny. That's what Misses Perez says."

"Your dance teacher said dancing is like boxing?"

"No. She says we're her bunnies because we hope around and are quick on our feet. You're like a bunny, daddy." She says. I stop at a red light and turn around to look at my daughter. She sits in her car seat, her caramel curly hair in her face and she holds her stuffed alligator in her hands.

"Bella, you're very wise."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Honey, it is a very good thing."

I've had many fights in my career. In all 60 fights, I don't think I've ever been as nervous for one like this one. I'm nervous for the fact that tonight I have my family here, but also tonight I'm retiring indefinitely from boxing.

"Are you sure you wanna do this Shawn?" Jasmine asks me.

We lie in bed, my head against her lap and her hands are in my hair as she runs her fingers through my scalp over and over. My eyes are closed and I nod my head. "I'm positive that I want to do this."