Patient [s.m]

4.

When Shawn and I bought our house in New York, we imagined what sounds would be heard in what rooms. We knew that Santino and Sebastian would be playing floor hockey in the house, mainly in the dining room. We knew that Bella would be dancing around in the hallways, which is why we put mirrors on every door so she could see herself. We knew that the kitchen would never be silent.

"Think about it! You'd be baking with one of the kids, and I use the other to distract you while I keep dipping my finger in the batter or the frosting, or even both!" Shawn tells me.

I cradle my new growing bump that carried Sebastian while Shawn held Santino in his arms. "I do love the booth over there in the corner."

"Kind of reminiscent of a certain television show, huh?" Shawn asks.

"I want to look at the living room." I say. "I wanna know if it's the spot for my horn."

But now, the kitchen was silent and the only noises were the sounds of forks and knives hitting plates. I wanted to grab my fork and knife and just cut through the tension.

"That's it." I say. "Everyone put your god damn utensils down and look at me."

I look at my children, all with the same look of concern in their eyes. Bella's chest begins to rise up and down as she nervously likes to gnaw at her lip. She never did handle being in trouble. She even told us everything. And I do mean everything.

The door swings open to my office and reveals Bellissima. Her hair is down and slightly damp from the rain outside. Shawn sat across my desk from me and held a hand gripper, strengthening his fists.

Bella places her hands on her hips and taps her foot on the floor. "I think we all can agree that I am a good kid, correct?"

Shawn looks at me and I look back at him. We share a look as if to say, 'What's going on?' Shawn turns back to Bella and he sits up from his comfortable slouch in the chair.

"I think the three of us can agree you are a good kid." Shawn replies.

"Cool. Good. Very good. And as a good kid, I would like to say that you could have had a different child, but you got blessed with me. Not to toot my own French horn but toot, toot." She says.

I let out a snicker behind my closed mouth and cover it up with a cough. "What's this about honey?"

"I could be doing crack cocaine, I could be addicted to meth and gambling and alcohol and be stealing your credit card or whatever. I could be a terrible child like the children of other celebrity parents. But I'm not because you know I tell you guys everything going on in my life." She rambles.

"What's going on beautiful?" Shawn asks her. He continued to squeeze his gripper and I closed my laptop to give my full focus to my daughter.

"Mom, dad. I just lost my virginity." Bella says.

Shawn stops gripping and the instrument falls out his hand and onto his lap. I look at Shawn and he looks at me with an expression of confusion and shock. His eyes are wide, yet his brows are furrowed and his mouth moves while he tries to find the words to say.

"I would like to see a gynecologist because I learned at school that you're supposed to see one once you become sexually active. I mean, you can see one before, but I want to see one since I liked it and I see myself engaging in sex more often." Bella continues.

"Do you want to be grounded?" Shawn asks out 17 year old daughter. "Or do I cry? I'm confused, what should I be doing here?"

"Ground me!!" Bella says. "Ground me because I had sex!"