𝘽𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 ➸ [ 𝙁𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙨 ]

1 |♛| 𝙎𝙪𝙣 𝘿𝙧𝙤𝙥

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (approximately 2 billion fairy-light years away, if you really want to know), lived a very happy couple. Why, you ask? Well, that's a stupid question! The wife was pregnant, of course!

Anyway, this very happy couple had a delightful little window in the back of their delightful little house. Of course, their house was a tower, because that's just how houses are in fairytales.

One day, the very happy wife peered out the window and saw a splendid little garden next door full of the most beautiful plants and flowers. But one in particular caught her eye. Sun drop. (probably known to you all as Rapunzel)

Dear lord! She thought. I must have some of those wonderful flowers to eat tonight! (Because cravings got to be like that) And with that, she called her husband and ordered him to go fetch her some.

Being the good husband that he was, he set out at once. Unfortunately for the him, there was a wall of thorny roses surrounding the beautiful garden. Whenever he would try to pass through it, the roses would scratch at him ferociously. He could've sworn that they were alive.

By the time the poor husband came home, the sun had set. Scratches covered him from head to toe. "Well?" The wife demanded. "Where is my sun drop?"

"I wasn't able to—"

"WHAT?! WHERE IS IT?!" The not so happy wife rudely interrupted.

"Well, you see—"

"NO EXCUSES!" And with that, she promptly threw a vase at him. "OUT WITH YOU! GET ME MY FOOD, NOW!!!"

Being the good husband that he was, he walked back to the wall of evil roses. He smartly decided not to go through the wall this time, but around it. So, after he had walked exactly 1.3 miles to the right, the wall of roses finally ended. He quickly grabbed the requested sun drop and limped back home.

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At exactly 2:35 am, the poor husband had finally returned home. Instead of sympathy, he was met with what had to be the scariest thing in the world: an angry wife.

"FINALLY!" The not so happy wife roared. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING FOP—"

Fortunately for you, my good readers, you will never have the displeasure of knowing how that sentence was finished, for there was a knock at the door.

"OPEN THE DOOR, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!" She barked at her husband, snatching the flowers from his hand. And, of course, being the good husband that he was, he opened the door. Standing there was an outrageously fat creature, her eyes set in a permanent squint. A huge wart sat on her nose.

The unfortunate husband was pushed aside like a rag-doll as the creature hobbled inside. The wife sniffed disdainfully at her. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE?" It seemed that she would be speaking in that manner for a long long time, unfortunately for you-know-who.

The big oaf, surprisingly, curtsied, which wouldn't have been difficult if not for the large fat of flesh protruding from her equally large form. She opened her mouth and burped the loudest belch that I'm sure Donald Trump would be proud of. "Top of the mornin' to ye." She said in a ridiculous, obviously fake Irish accent. "Me name is...em..." She seemed to be scrolling through a list of names. Me name is Rumple...Tumple...ah! Tumplestilskin! Yep, that's me name!" She declared.

"WAIT. ARE YOU RELATED TO RUMPLEST—"

The giant/dwarf woman shook her head yes. "Em...I guess I am."

"YOU GUESS?"

"...well...yeah."

The wife narrowed her eyes suspiciously. After an awkward, seemingly endless pause that consisted of the husband quietly groaning in pain and Tumple nervously twiddling her thumbs, she shrugged and said, "WHATEVER. WHAT DO YOU WANT?"