The Writings of a Hopeless Cause

I Wonder...

I wonder what it would have been like,

if I endured those last few hours.

If I stuck around,

just a bit longer.

I wonder what it would have been like

to come home,

drop my bag and kiss my mom on the cheek.

I wonder if she would still have a smile on her face.

I wonder,

does she miss me?

I wonder what would have happened,

if I showed up to third period,

could I have endured them,

one last time?

I wonder,

if I sat in the back,

would they have left me alone?

I wonder what it would have been like

to hug her goodbye,

to see her the next morning waiting for me

by the door.

I wonder would she still be my friend,

if she knew what I was about to do.

I wonder,

if he was going to tell me he loved me.

I heard the rumors,

but I wonder.

I wonder what it would have been like,

to walk out of that washroom,

to rush to third period.

But I wonder,

were they looking for me?

Did they even notice I was gone?

I wonder what it would have been like

to be asked,

"are you okay?".

I wonder,

did they notice my long sleeves?

I wonder,

did they notice my bruised legs?

Did they notice my scarred wrists?

I wonder when they noticed.

I wonder when they realized.

I wonder when they cried.

I wonder if they felt something,

anything.

I wonder did they care?

I wonder will they care?

I wonder what time they found me.

I wonder what it would have been like,

if I didn't go through with it.

I wonder,

where would I be?

I wonder if I didn't,

would I be smiling?

I wonder,

if I would have noticed.

I wonder who found me.

I wonder if they found me.

I wonder who noticed me.

I wonder,

did they notice me..?