Say It Again?!

Chapter 3

I drive in a daze. I had just dropped off Toni around the bend near her house and again, I am filled by thoughts of her, of us. No, this is not about love and no I do not have any bad and or lewd intentions. I just couldn't remove the image of her sobbing and sniffling next to me from my mind.

She didn't plan on any of this. Neither of us did. Imagine the surprise of your life when somebody tells you you're married.

At first, I had laughed. There was no way in hell that I was married, because I wouldn't allow that, and in no way was it going to be an accident. The memory of Juliet still stung, which was why the thought of marriage did not in any way appeal to me.

But Collin had the most serious face on, which for him was something close to impossible, that I knew he wasn't kidding.

"Seryoso ka, p're?" I had asked.

"Do you really think I'd joke about this?!" he had answered.

At that point, I didn't know what to think. There was ringing in my ears from everywhere. I felt my knees weaken and buckle. I sat down and leaned on the wall, my legs spayed in front of me.

At some point in the past, I had thought of marriage, although it wasn't really about marriage. It was always about Juliet. She was the first girl I ever linked marriage to, and the last girl I thought I would ever link it to. Call it childish, baduy or even sissy, but there was not a night that I did not picture Juliet in a white dress walking down the aisle with me waiting at the altar.

I was pretty petty for believing that that would ever happen. She ended it even before it began, said I would be better off with someone else, someone better. I knew she didn't mean it. I wasn't stupid, at least, not anymore. God knows how much she wanted me far, far away.

That notion solidified two weeks after we broke up, when news spread about her and Jimmy the soccer player who never thought of anything else but soccer balls and breasts.

After that, the thought of marriage was off limits.

Until that stupid project brought it back.

The only reason I had agreed to it was because I wanted it over and done with. Nobody else was willing to play the groom, so I took it. It was only for a project after all. Toni didn't want the role as bride, but I knew she wanted it over and done with too.

Then, that stupid priest had to come in and turn my whole life upside-down. Leche naman kase eh, how could you even let something as serious as making a fake marriage real happen?! Hadn't he thought of how I was going to go through with this?

How Toni was going to go through with it too?

I had stood up then, and ran. There was only one other person who understood what I was going through because she was going through it.

I knew where Toni was. She wasn't the type to skip classes like I did. I ran up four flights of stairs that day, hoping she was still in the classroom. At the last staircase, I leaned on the wall and tried catching my breath, then started walking to the room.

I found her then. She was clutching her bag, her knuckles white. I could tell she was on the verge of breaking down. We both were. I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair then. Toni walked on over to the stairs and sat down. I sat down beside her.

We stayed like that until the sun set. She checked her phone once and then went back to staring blankly into space. I laid my head on my arm then and closed my eyes, trying to comprehend everything that has happened. Toni started to sob. I did not know what else to do except wrap my arm around her and silently hope that she knew and understood that she wasn't alone.

I snapped out of my gaze when a drunk motorcycle driver whizzed past by. I stepped on the brakes, the wheels letting out a screeching sound. My heart was pounding heavily. I pulled over to the sidewalk, turned off the engine and laid my forehead on the cold wheel.

My old man was never going to let me live after this. He never really believed in marriage and commitment. He made that clear when he didn't give a horse's ass when Mom walked out the door.

For a year and a half, I had been switching back and forth from his house to Mom's and her boyfriend's-now-turned-fiancé's house. In the end, I had decided to stay with dad, partly because I didn't want to think of him living alone in such a big house and partly because I didn't like Stephen all that much. He was all talk and no do. I never could see what mom saw in him.

I had no real desire or dream I wanted to reach ever since Juliet, but right now, all I wanted was not turning out like my father, or my parents for that matter. Theirs was a masterpiece that they themselves tore apart, and I didn't want that.

Nor did I want to get married at 21 and by accident. But I did. Now I knew I had to do SOMETHING right. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the turning point. A chance to prove that the apple does fall far from the tree.

But first, the old man had to know.

I started the engine and drove home to tell my dad I was married. I knew Toni may have probably already done the same.