Life With The Avengers

Lead Breakfast (Avengers Style)

"SAY WHAT AGAIN!" Fury yelled, a vein popping on his temple as he pointed the loaded gun at his victim.

"Whoa! Fury buddy, let me handle this, I'll take care of it," You intervened.

The poor sap that you and the rest of the Avengers team were interrogating was shaking his seat, sweat aligning his forehead. He let out a sigh of relief when Fury put his gun back in his holster and stormed off to the corner of the room to watch the rest of the interrogation go on. You ran a hand through your hair and flashed the victim a smile before slamming your palms on the silver table, your gaze hard on him, your lips set in a firm scowl.

"LISTEN HERE, FERNANDES!" you barked, your voice probably damaging his hearing. "YOU'RE GOING TO TELL US THE CODES TO DEACTIVATE THE BOMBS OR ELSE IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD THAT WILL BE MOUNTED ON MY LIVING ROOM WALL!"

"Let her handle it, she said," Tony sighed. "She'll take care of it, she said."

"I have never been more afraid of a woman in my entire life," Steve blinked from where he was standing.

"Agreed," Bruce nodded gravely.

"Is it that time of the month for Lady (Y/n), again?" Thor asked with a puzzled expression. Bruce facepalmed.

"No...Thor...it just doesn't work that way."You ignored the boys and focused on Fernandes.

"DO YOU WANT TO BE A HILARIOUS PIECE OF FURNITURE IN MY ROOM OR NOT?"

"W-What?" The Hispanic man quivered. He looked up at you with nervous eyes.

"SAY WHAT AGAIN!" You shouted, whipping your gun out and pointing it dead center in between his eyes.

"HOLY SHIT!" Clint screamed as he dove onto the floor. "TAKE COVER!"
Tony dove down onto the floor as well, putting his hands over his head.

"NEVER TRUST A WOMAN WITH A GUN!"

"Hey!" Natasha snapped. "Don't make me pull a gun on you, too!" She turned to you and gave you a curt nod. "(Y/n), you may continue."

"Thank you Natasha," You smiled sweetly. Suddenly, you kicked the table to the side, your smile disappearing. You put your gun away and grabbed Fernandes by the collar of his shirt and with a growl said, "Tell me the codes now!" He gulped at looked at you with wild eyes.

"...W-What?"

You pushed him away from you. He screamed as his chair fell onto the floor in loud and painful sounding clang! You grabbed your gun again and actually looked like you were going to pull the trigger on the man. Despite how scared he was, Steve held you back, lifting you several inches off the ground as he pulled you away from Fernandes, the man who held the codes to the bombs that were scattered in a SHIELD building that had been cleared-but there was important high tech stuff in there.

"SAY WHAT AGAIN!" You screamed, kicking the air as you struggled against Steve. Bruce helped Fernandes up since he was tied to the chair. "SAY WHAT AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER!"

"(Y/n), just calm down," Tony said as he nervously plucked the gun from your hands.

"Tony I will be calm....ONCE FERNANDES GIVES ME THE CODES!" You yelled furiously as you balled your hands up into fists. Steve held you up in the air with ease, not wanting to set you down for his fear of what you might do once your feet touched the ground.

Pretty soon, all the Avengers were yelling at what to do with the man that was tied up in the chair. Fury approached Fernandes, trying to give it another go.

"Listen to the woman, Fernandes!" He shouted. "She will blow your brains out without another thought!"

"....W-What?!" Fernandes cried.

You almost blew it at that point as did Fury until a knocking on the door interrupted everything. Slowly, everyone turned their heads to see the door being opened by none other than Phil Coulson, who held something behind his back and was eating a hamburger with his free hand.

"Mmmmhmmm," He grinned to himself. "This is a tasty burger."

"Anything we can help you with, son of Coul?" Thor asked curiously.He blinked, realizing that he actually had a purpose in entering the room.

"Right! Okay, so I was watching you guys interrogate Fernandes while looking up information on him and turns out....he doesn't speak or understand English. But it looks like he knows what the word 'what' means."

"No way!" Steve's jaw dropped as well as you when he let you go.

You walked calmly over to the wall and began to hit your forehead against it.

"(Y/n), stop it," Natasha pulled you away from the wall.

"WELL AREN'T WE FUCKING GENIUSES!" You laughed.

Upon hearing this, everyone else laughed as well for not thinking that Fernandes probably didn't speak English. Fernandes looked at the Avengers with bewildered eyes as he watched them laugh, wondering what the hell was going on.

"I have good news though," Phil smiled.

"What?" Tony asked curiously. He moved his hand that was behind his back up front to reveal a tray of milkshakes.

"I brought milkshakes!"

"I wonder if this will bring the boys to the yard," Thor stroked his beard.

"Thor...." Bruce sighed, a grin on his lips. "We really need to educate you better on Midgardian music."

~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~

Fury, Phil, you and the rest of the Avengers sat outside of SHIELD headquarters, drinking milkshakes and eating doughnuts. Everyone decided it was best to stop interrogating Fernandes for awhile in order to calm themselves down.

"Hey, aren't we forgetting something?" Natasha wondered aloud while taking a bite of her doughnut.

"I don't think so," Fury shrugged.

Tony took a bite out of his doughnut and his eyes widened, his chewing slowing down as well. He looked down at his watch and shrugged.

"5....."

".....4...." Bruce said when he realized it as well.

".....3...." Steve sighed.

"....2...." Clint chuckled.

".....1!" You shouted with a huge sarcastic smile on your face.

*BOOM!*

The nearby SHIELD headquarters exploded.

"We forgot the codes, didn't we?" Thor chuckled.

"Oh yeah, big time," Phil clucked his tongue.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Fury screamed, throwing his half-eaten doughnut onto the floor.

You shrugged at his antics and took a sip of your milkshake. "This a fucking good milkshake."