What If? -Drarry

Part Three: Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Lying on his back in the boy's dorm, Draco allowed himself to relax for the first time in weeks. The knowledge that he was no longer sharing a house with The Dark Lord himself was like being able to breathe again, and meant that Draco could finally let down the tense guard around himself and his mind. Without the alertness, he realised he felt exhausted. Christmas really hadn't been easy.

Absent-mindedly he twisted the band of silver around his finger, thinking. Seeing Harry had been numbingly painful, and yet somehow thrilling. The split second of eye contact they had had while boarding the train had been enough to make his heart pound and his hands shake almost uncontrollably. And, like rubbing salt into a wound, it had made the sadness that had been with him so long return to its full intensity with sharp precision. But the green eyes had not hated him this time. Not like they had before the holiday.

A sketchbook lay, pages splayed, by Draco's head. No new drawings had been added to it since Harry had left. Draco found himself sitting and staring at the blank pages in front of him more often than he could count, wishing for the urge of inspiration to come to him as it had so often used to, and yet feeling nothing. The pages mocked him until, defeated, he would return it to its place.

He was remembering what Harry's eyes had looked like on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters as he drifted off into murky dreams.

0o0oHarry0o0o

Harry rubbed a hand over the place he'd felt pain only two days ago, when the line of fire had been burned into his ribs, making him yell out in hurt. It hadn't been his - it came from the ring which he had returned to his hand the night before. It was difficult to tell what hurt him more - the pain on his skin, or the pain of knowing that whatever was happening to him would be much, much worse for Draco.

Guilt that he hadn't been able to protect Draco was ever present in Harry's mind. And he was angry - so angry - at whatever person had dared to harm him. Seeing him on the train, even briefly, had been heartwrenching. It had been all Harry could do not to go and pull Draco to him, to tell him he was sorry, and yet...

Suppressing a grunt of indecision, Harry rolled over and pulled his pillow into a more comfortable position. He wanted to sleep, but as always, Draco kept him awake. When he shut his eyes, all he could see were the fathomless icy irises staring through him. How he longed to look into those eyes again, without hesitation, and see only his own love reflected back.

It was with a sense of giving up that Harry finally decided to talk to Draco again, tomorrow.

0o0o

When tomorrow came, Harry began to get nervous. It felt strange to feel scared of talking to someone who he had spent so much time with, whom he had talked to for hours, but there it was. Just because he didn't like it didn't mean it wasn't true.

Potions was first thing. Harry didn't know whether it was a blessing to get it over with, or a curse to have to do it so soon. As they made their way to class, Hermione shot him a look.

"What's up?" She asked quietly, so that Ron wouldn't hear.

"I'm going to talk to Draco after school." Saying it made it feel final. That scared Harry even more.

"I knew you'd come round," Hermione said, barely hiding her smile. "Stop looking so sad. Remember that you're about to talk to the guy you're in love with. Be happy!"