Guess What. It's Kleinsen.

I'm not sorry.

Jared's POV

     I actually did know. I knew very well why I did what I did. I would never admit it. Oh but I knew very, very well. I had liked him. I had liked him for a while. A long long while. And we had gotten very close. I thought the closeness was great actually. 

     One day we were sitting on his bed and everything was happening the way it always would. We had come home, we sat on his bed, he put his head on my shoulder, and we talked. We talked for about 2 minutes before I couldn't hold back anymore and in a moment of brilliance I kissed him. I wasn't thinking and I didn't know what he thought. I liked the one second of lip touching. I really enjoyed it. 

     Then I realized I fucked up. I had fucked up big time. I didn't even stay to converse. I left and ever since I've pretended it never happened. I never liked him. We were never actual friends. And I lied to him and I lied to myself. 

     Anyway, back to the present. I don't bother to grab my phone and I head straight to my room t sleep. 

     I wake up about 4 hours later. 6 a.m. Happy Monday. I get up do my daily routine and head out to leave. It's cold as shit outside. I get in my car and don't go to Evan's house but I don't go straight to the school either. I go to McDonald's for some breakfast then go to school. 

     I arrived just on time but I saw Evan walking into the doors at the same time as me. I pretended I couldn't see him. He obviously saw me. "Jared." He said and grabbed my arm as I sped up. "Jared." He said a little harsher the second time when I didn't answer. "I'm sorry."

     "Yeah, well I'm not." I lied taking back my arm and walking to my first period class. What the fuck is wrong with me? I asked myself. Why wouldn't I just say sorry and we could've made up right there. 

     I'm so fucking stupid. What the fuck. And I thought those two things for the rest of the period. At lunch, where I sat by myself. And when I went home, to my empty ass house. And when Heidi called me to ask why the hell I said I wasn't sorry when we both knew I was probably way more sorry than I actually needed to be. 

     "I think we both know you're actually sorry." She says to me.

     "I am I really really am. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't do feelings. I hate feelings. Heidi what am I doing wrong?" 

     "Jared you're just confused."

     "What do you mean? What am I confused about?" 

     "You like him?"

     "No I don't."

     "Yes you do."

     "No."

     "Don't lie to yourself." She says. "No one-- Sure-- Goodnight. I love you." She says, I presume to Evan. "It's okay to like him."

     "Heidi I have no idea what you are talking about."

     "Look Jared, you're basically like my second son, I have to go, talk to your parents. Get some sleep. I'll call when I have time. Bye."

     "Bye." And she hummed in response then hung up. 

Evan's POV

     I was in my room questioning my entire being and its existence when I heard my mom start talking. I guessed to someone on the phone so I tried to listen in. I heard something about Jared and not lying to yourself and I walked in. 

     "Who are you talking to?"

     "No one."

     "Okay. Can I have some cereal?" 

     "Sure."

     "Thanks. Goodnight."

     "Goodnight. I love you."

     "Love you too." 

     I got my cereal and continued to listen in. She was talking to Jared. She said something about liking someone. A him. Who? I have no clue. I wanted to find out. "Who does Jared like?" I asked as my mom walked into the kitchen. 

     "What?"

     "I um- I heard some of what you were talking about."

     "Oh that. It doesn't matter."

     "You um also said he was confused?" I sort of asked. "I guess it's none of my business he doesn't have to be sorry but forgiveness would've been nice I guess."

     "I know sweetheart. I have to go to work. I love you. Try to sleep. Goodnight." 

     "Goodnight."