Guess What. It's Kleinsen.

I don't like to fight.

Jared's POV

     After Heidi finishes her long rant about us not being friends, she leaves. Causing us to be alone in the living room. "So."

     "So." Evan replies. "I'm sorry."

     "I would hope so." I say standing up  "I mean what even did I do for you to become such an ass. I just wanted to help out. And I was denied that right so I asked to hang out but apparently I wasn't allowed to do that either. What do you even want from me? Sometimes I feel like I could just leave and you wouldn't notice. Like I just disappear and your life stays the same nothing changes. I mean, yes sure, I can be an asshole sometimes. I have been for a while. I shouldn't have lied to you. I guess I'm sorry. But your lying to yourself hurt so many people." 

     "So did your lying to yourself." He said joining me in the standing. 

     "What do you mean?"

     "After the kiss. In sophomore year." Did he just bring that up?

     "We don't need to bring this up." I say a little harshly. 

     "You obviously lied about your feelings causing both of us to get hurt. What the hell even was the whole car insurance thing?"

     "It was nothing. And I never lied about any feelings it meant nothing." 

     "You're lying."

     "No I'm not." 

     "Yes you are."

     "I am not lying. It meant nothing. It means nothing. I don't care." I say sounding really defensive. Which I am not.

     "I don't get it. Why do you keep saying that. Not even just that. You've always said things are nothing. When I accidentally broke your weird toy airplane. When your parents stopped staying home for long periods of time. When kids starting bullying you. Why don't you just tell the truth."

     "I am. I don't care about those things. It doesn't bug me." 

     "Yes, it obviously does." 

     "You obviously don't understand. I. Don't. Care." 

     "Jared. Yes. You. Do. Why can't you just let yourself fall or surrender or weaken for even just one minute? You can't pretend to be strong forever. I don't understand."

     "I don't."

     "What do you need to be strong for?"

     "Nothing."  I say stepping back one or two steps. 

     "Is it a who? I don't understand. Why do you try to be so strong and 'insanely cool'? What does it do for you?"

     "Nothing. It does absolutely nothing. Are you happy? It does nothing for me I just do it. If I don't care it can't hurt."

     "Yes it can."

     "No Evan. I say it can't so it can't."

     "That's not how things work."

     "Why not? Why can't I determine how I feel? Why can't I be in charge of my whole life?" I complain. 

     "How did you really feel about that kiss, Jared?"

     "Why?"

     "How did you feel about it?" He asks again.

     "Why do you care?"

     "Because maybe I felt something. Did you ever stop to think about how I felt? That maybe I liked what happened? That maybe this-" He gestures between us. "couldn't have happened? That maybe this could've been a thing maybe? Maybe we wouldn't have argued? Maybe I could've realised I didn't actually like Zoe? You could've thought about how I might've thought about the whole kiss before just running away and becoming an asshole."

     "Yeah well maybe I was scared. Maybe I was scared you didn't feel the same because all you ever talked about was Zoe. Zoe Zoe Zoe. It was all about Zoe. So maybe I kissed you and figured 'He likes someone. What the fuck are you doing dipshit?'"

     "We kissed." He adds.

     "What do you mean?"

     "You said you kissed me. But I kissed you too. It wasn't just your decision. I leaned in too. I felt something too."