Sucker For You | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 5

I say goodbye to Kevin, Danielle and Joe. Joe grabs me and gives me a hug that I'm not prepared for. "Remember what I said." He says into my hair and I can feel my heartbeat in my ears.

Nick is silent almost the entire way home, until we are only a few blocks from my place.

"I want you to know that I can take care of you." He says out of the blue. I look at him and raise an eyebrow but he doesn't look in my direction.

"I know you can." I say.

"But Joe stepped up today, and it's not his job." I feel my chest tighten.

"No offense Nick buts it not your job either." I say as politely as I can.

His face turns from what almost looks like anger and then back to blank. "That's true. But it could be."

Is he saying what I think he's saying? He knows how I feel about Joe, and just because he is engaged now doesn't mean my feelings for him have suddenly vanished. 

"Nick..." I start but he interrupts me.

"I know that you don't feel the same way about me that you feel for Joe. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't open yourself up for other possibilities."

"Like you?" I ask.

He nods, but keeps his focus to the road in front of him. I look down at my cut offs, pulling at a piece of string hanging from the ragged edges. "I didn't know you felt that way about me." I say.

He laughs, but not in a mocking way. "I think you've been a little too preoccupied to notice."

"I'm sorry." I say, because I care about Nick. Of course I do. And I know what it's like to like someone back that doesn't even notice you like that. But I'm not sure if I could feel those types of feelings for Nick or not. I've never opened up my heart to the idea of it.

"Don't be." he says. I feel like we should talk more about this, but he stays silent and i know that's the end of that conversation.

We say goodbye and I enter my place, alone with my thoughts. I don't know if my head hurts because of my incident earlier or because of the conversation we just had.

I shut my door front door and lean against it. Nick has feelings for me; not Joe, but Nick. I never even thought of him as a possibility, because I've always focused on his brother.

I grab an ice pack out of my freezer and head into my room. I lie down on my bed and place it on my nose, wincing from the pain. The cold finally begins to numb my skin and I close my eyes.

When I wake up, the ice pack is on my stomach, my shirt soaking wet underneath it. My room is dark, so it must be late. I sit up and turn my bedside light on. The clock says it's only eight.

I grab a clean pair of pajamas and hop in the shower, scrubbing away any dried blood that Joe might have missed. The warm water feels great against my skin and I watch as some leftover sand from the beach makes its way down to the drain.

After I get dressed, I keep my hair in a towel and make my way into the kitchen in search of a snack. I grab a granola bar from my junk drawer and lean against the counter, eating it too quickly. I didn't realize how hungry I was until the first bite.

A light shines through my window and onto the wall. I look at the window and see headlights in my driveway. Who would be here this late?

I take the towel off of my head and throw it onto my chair, quickly running my fingers through my damp hair.

I walk over to the window beside my door and can see Joe stepping out into my dimly lit driveway. My breath catches. What is he doing here?

I open the door before he can knock, and he looks relieved. "What are you doing here?" I ask, stepping aside so he can come in.

"I was worried about you. You didn't answer your phone."

Come to think of it, I hadn't checked my phone in a while.

I shut the door and follow him into the living room. He sits down on the couch and I sit on the chair across from him.

"Sorry, I fell asleep and then took a shower. I guess I forgot to check my phone."

"It's okay. How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I'm okay, a little sore still."

"Well I came here to check on you and there's something I wanted to tell you." He says.

I bite at my fingernails. What could he possibly have to say? Thoughts swirl through my head, and I imagine him coming here to confess his love for me. Yeah right.

"Jenny and I picked a date." He says and my heart sinks. Who am I kidding? No matter how much I want him to, he's never going to love me like that. He's getting married for Pete's sake.

"Oh, that's great." I say, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

"The thing is, it's going to be in a month." He says, looking at his hands.

"Oh. So soon?" I ask. A month? Joe is going to be married in a month.

"Yeah, Jenny's idea. We don't want anything big so we don't see a need to wait."

"Gotcha." I say. I bite my lip, keeping my thoughts at bay. I have to keep my cool.

"Yeah." He says, and the room is so silent I can hear the crickets outside my closed window.

"Why did you come to tell me this?" I question.

He looks at me then, trying to read my face and I pray he can't. "Well I came to check on you, that's my main reason. And I wanted to tell you because I wanted to know what you think. I value your opinion."

I nod, "Well that's nice of you. But in the end it's you and Jenny's decision."

"I know, but do you have anything you want to say about it?" He asks.

I'm confused by his question so I just look at him. His eyes meet mine and we stay like that for a long moment. What does he want me to say?

"I'm happy for you." I say with a smile. It's not a lie. I want nothing more than for him to be happy, even if that means not with me.

"Thanks Trin." He says and smiles back at me, "I don't know what I would do without you. Honestly."

"Me too." I say lowly, tears starting to form in my eyes. I look away so he won't see.

After he leaves, I take a seat on the couch and cup my face in my hands and cry, hard. I gasp for air, and I feel like I may pass out.

My heart hurts so bad and I wish I could yank it out of my chest. I have lost him forever, and it's time to let him go. He will always be my friend, and I should be thankful he will still be in my life even if its not in the way I want him to be. I have to move on, no matter how hard it's going to be.