Sucker For You | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 26

Nick stands up and so do I, tears stream down my face as I grab his arm, "Nick, you can't just say that to me and then leave."

"I know, I'm sorry. My timing is terrible. I just had to say it." he says. He grabs my hand and gently takes it off of his arm, "you should talk to Joe."

I watch him as his walks away and goes back inside the house. I wipe my face with shaking hands, unsure of how to go on today. What Nick said to me is something no guy has ever said; that he loves me and that he always has. I knew he had feelings for me, but not like that. Nick is the most kind hearted person I have ever met, and I'm the one that has his heart.

I walk into the living room and everyone is gone except for Joe. He is seated on the couch, his face in his hands. All i see is that mess of dark curls on his head.

"Joe." I say.

He snaps his head up in my direction, his lips forming a smile. "Hi Trin."

"Hi." I say, taking a seat beside him.

He turns towards me and searches my face, "have you been crying?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I say, because I'm surely not going to tell him what just happened.

"I'm so sorry for how much I've hurt you." He says, looking down at his feet. I know he means it. Joe has always cared so much about everyone. He has always tried so hard to make everyone happy.

"I know you didn't mean to Joe." I say.

"I've just been confused. I know that's not an excuse. I'm just being honest."

I nod. Being here in front of him, seeing the sorrow in his face, I can tell he means it. I've been so busy thinking about how much I've been hurting through this, and didn't stop to think that maybe he is hurting too.

"I shouldn't have been so pushy, and should have let you speak to me when you first wanted to." I admit, "I shouldn't have just expected you to move right on from Jenny to me."

"I should have handled things better. I tried so hard to not hurt either one of you, but I know I hurt both of you anyway. That's why when I just took some time to myself, to think things through." He says.

I look down at my hands and wait for him to continue.

"After all these years of knowing you, and how close we are, seeing you hurt because of me has destroyed me inside. It's one of the reasons I never acted on my feelings for you. I knew if I screwed it up I couldn't live with myself."

"You didn't screw it up Joe. Things are just complicated."

He shakes his head, "I see the way you look at me now, and it's not the same." He says, looking at me with tears forming in his eyes, which only makes mine do the same.

"Joe that's not..." i start but he interrupts.

"You know I'm right." He says gently, "I shouldn't have lead you on, only to go running back to Jenny just because she's familiar. I was wrong. And to be honest, I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that." I tell him.

"All these years that you have been here for me, and have felt the way you do for me, and what did I do? Date other people, brush you off and even get engaged. Nobody deserves to be treated like that."

"I wouldn't change it for the world Joe. All I ever wanted was you to be happy, even if that wasn't with me." I say.

He shakes his head again, and wipes a tear off of his chin, "no matter how much I want to be with you, I can't risk hurting you again, or even worse loosing you for good."

"Joe." I say as tears flood out of me.

"I know. I'm so sorry Trin. You know this just isn't the right time for us."

And as much as I want to scream at him and tell him that's not true; it is. After what we've been through these past couple of months, it's put a shadow on our relationship. But I'd be willing to try and put it all behind us, but i know he won't budge. Once he's made up his mind, there's no going ack.

He pulls me to his chest and cry against him. I can feel his body twitch, and I know he's crying too.

—

Joe leaves and i go back onto the porch, swinging gently on the chair, my eyes closed because of how heavy they feel.

I hear the front door open and open my eyes. I'm realized when it's Danielle. She smiles at me sympathetically and holds up two glasses of wine.

"I thought you could use a drink." She says and takes a seat beside me, handing me the cup.

"That's for sure."

"Kevin told me about your talk with him earlier. I hope you don't mind."

I shake my head, "of course not. You are both like my older siblings."

"Did you talk with Joe?" She asks.

I nod, "he told me that it's not our time right now. Because of how much we complicated things. He can't deal with the fact that he hurt me."

"You know Joe. He feels very deeply." She says.

"I know. And before he and I talked. Nick told me he loved me."

She raises her eyebrow, "really?"

"Joe has never told me he loved me. But Nick told me he has always loved me and always will." I say, biting your lip.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I've never had anyone say that to me before."

"But how do you feel about him?"

I shrug, "confused. I never thought about him like that because I was too focused on Joe. But Nick has been so good to me lately, and now I know I have feelings for him." I take my face in my hands, "I can't be in love with two Jonas brothers." I mumble.

Danielle laughs at how dramatic I'm being.

"As long as you aren't in love with three Jonas brothers." She says and nudges me playfully in the arm, making us both laugh.