I walk farther into the room and sit in the chair next to the bed.
"Hi." She says, I can hear her voice shake, like she is scared that I am here. But, she did "invite" me in. Kind of.
"So... You know my name. What's yours?" I look over to her and fold my hands in my lap.
She brushed her dark hair out of her face and looks back at me, "Josie." I have to strain to hear her whisper. I just nod at her. "So, what are you doing in my room?"
I chuckle, "You told me to come in. So I did."
"I meant why did you knock. Why did you want to come in here. You don't even know me."
"I was walking down the hallway and I passed your door. I saw you sitting on the bed, and the room doesn't look like a normal hospital room. And I was curious, so I knocked." I put air quotes around "normal."
She gives me a small smile, "Yeah, it's not exactly normal," she looks around, "I have lived in this room for most of my life."
I look at her quizzically, "Why? Don't you have a family and a home?"
She turns her head and looks out the window and sighs. "I used to."
Being a foster kids, I know that she is showing signs that she wants to be left alone. I just reply with a quiet "Okay" and I look back down at my hands.
My head jerks up when I hear her take a deep breath. "So, Landry Reuben, why are you here. At the hospital? You don't look sick or injured. What's wrong with you?"
Well, Josie I don't know your last name, I had lung cancer. But I have been in remission for the past two years. But, the doctors just want to make sure that I stay fine."
"Oh. Well, hopefully you can stay fine."
"Thanks, so why are you here?"
"Um..." She is cut off by a beeping out in the hallway. The intercom starts yelling my name. I grin and stand up. I can't help but to notice the look of relief cross her face.
"Well, that's me, my doctor must be done performing brain surgery. Bye."
"Bye." She keeps staring at a dot on her bedspread. I walk out of the door and race down to the lobby and meet my Mom.
I go up behind my Mom and scare her. "Landry! Where have you been? I told you to be back here in twenty minutes. It has been an hour and a half."
I smile at her, "I know. But I got caught up, talking to people." We walk to the nurse that is waiting for us.
I sit on the bed, in the tiny, cramped room and wait for Dr. Stephens. After about ten minutes, she walks into the room with a different nurse than before.
"Hey Landry, long time no see. How've you been?"
"It's been three weeks and five days since the last time I was here. But, I've been feeling pretty good. My chest hasn't felt tight, and I have been able to do things without loosing my breath." We go through the routine questions for the next several minutes. She checks my breathing and my heart with a stethoscope. After we complete that part, I get to go have some tests run, just to make sure I am healthy. You have to be in remission for five years to be "cancer free." So, I still have a risk of getting sick again.
After about three hours of tests, the results from the ultrasound came in. The Dr. Stephens looked worried when she walked in the room. She shut the door behind her and sat down next to me.
"So, we looked over your results and saw something we all wish we didn't." She handed me the ultrasound picture of my lungs. She pointed at a barely detectable smudge.
I can't keep the smile on my face. I can feel red-hot tears blurring my vision. "Is that-" I can't finish, why does this always happen?
She nods her head. My mom comes over and wraps me in a hug. I let the tears fall. Just as life was getting better. Getting normal. Life was practically perfect. Now life is ruined. I was told that I wouldn't make it past 16, but hopefully I can. I only have three weeks until my birthday.
"It's just a small mass. Don't get too upset. We need you to have a full body scan. Just to make sure the cancer cells are as little as we think." My mom and I nod in unison, both unable to speak. "Okay, can we do that tomorrow morning? Is that fine with you guys?"
That seems to snap mom or of her trance, "Yeah, yeah, that's fine. We'll be here."
"Okay, your free to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She shuts the door behind her.
I lean over as my mom draws me into another hug, I can't stop the flow of tears. She strokes my hair and lets me cry in her arms.
Twenty minutes late, we are pulling out of the Braums drive through with our ice cream. My mom had called my dad to tell him to pick up my siblings from school.
Even though it's freezing cold outside, I lick my mint chocolate chip ice cream cone. As we pull into our garage, my phone buzzes. I ignore it, I don't want anyone to know about me being sick.
I slowly unbuckle and open the door. My family is sitting inside in the living room. I walk in and Jae stands up and walks towards me, but I wave her off and walk upstairs with my head hung. No one but me and my mom know that I am sick, I wish it could stay that way. Life would be much easier. I slowly close my bedroom door, I lean my head against the wood, not even caring that the light is turned off.
I can feel the tears coming back, I try to push them down. But I can't. I hear the front door open then close. I can hear Mom talking, she hasn't told yet.
With my vision blurred, I punch the thick wood and let out a painful scream, filled with hate, anger, pain, and sadness. I hear silence in return. I throw myself down onto my bed and cover my entire body with my blankets. I silently sob, soaking my pillows.
By the time my dad knocks on my door, I am half asleep. I know by the way he comes in and sits on my bed, that everyone knows. He gently rubs my back, trying to comfort me. I just ignore him.
A few hours later, after dinner, I am sitting on the couch with Jaeger. She is watching the kids channel on TV. A juice commercial comes on, the super annoying theme song will be stuck in my head for days. I am barely paying attention to the TV, but when I see the actor in the commercial, I perk up immediately. The little girl looks exactly like Josie from the hospital. Just younger, and happier.
