Fight to Go On (her)

New Friends?

"Hi." I say. My voice breaking a little. Why though, was I scared?

"So... You know my name. What's yours?" He asks quickly adverting his eyes away from me.

I brushed my dark hair out of my face and look back at him, "Josie." I say in a low whisper. He just nods at me. "So, what are you doing in my room?"

He chuckles, "You told me to come in. So I did."

"I meant why did you knock. Why did you want to come in here. You don't even know me."

"I was walking down the hallway and I passed your door. I saw you sitting on the bed, and the room doesn't look like a normal hospital room. And I was curious, so I knocked." He puts air quotes around "normal".

I gives him a small smile, "Yeah, it's not exactly normal," I look around, "I have lived in this room for most of my life."

He looks at me quizzically, "Why? Don't you have a family and a home?"

I turn my head and look out the window and sigh. "I used to."

He must have understood where I was going with this because he just reply with a quiet "Okay".

His head jerks up when he must have heard me take a deep breath. "So, Landry Reuben, why are you here. At the hospital? You don't look sick or injured. What's wrong with you?"

"Well, Josie I don't know your last name, I had lung cancer. But I have been in remission for the past two years. But, the doctors just want to make sure that I stay fine."

"Oh. Well, hopefully you can stay fine."

"Thanks, so why are you here?"

"Um..." I get cut off by the intercom. He had to leave. Relief washed over me. 

"Well, that's me, my doctor must be done performing brain surgery. Bye."

"Bye." I keep staring at a dot on my bedspread.
Finally he was gone.  After a few minutes I begin to feel lonely.  Did I enjoy his presence, his comfort?  Did I want him to comeback?  No I couldn't, I don't make friends.  I don't take the responsibility of being there for them when I can't.  But maybe, just maybe..... I could have asked for his number.  I enjoyed talking to Landry.  It was almost like talking to a childhood friend.  He was nice, kind, and genuine.  He listened to me, it almost sounded like he cared.  But I could just be getting my hopes up.  I should just forget it.  I get up and walk out of my room.  Slowly making my way through the crowded hallways past doctors and other patients.  But I still have to keep my distance.  Finally I make it to my destination, the nursery.  I love the nursery, I get to see all the little babies inside.  There parents holding them and showing them so much love.  Something I never had.  But they get to be lucky enough to have it.  All the babies were so adorable.