The Tale Teller

Ch 26

 On the journey back to Cragbarrow Vaun didn't sleep. Though Celise -who hadn't slept much either- took a nap mid-afternoon once back at the inn. Vaun couldn't bring himself to. He wanted to stay active to keep his mind from drifting to the thoughts that repeated over and over like a rolling storm.

He couldn't stop thinking of Opan, of how his body had laid there on the sand before sinking into the sea. Vaun could still feel the weight of him in his hands, how solid his flesh had been beneath the fabric. No matter how much he tried to shake the thoughts free Opan was there, along with Lissy, Corum. Sometimes Soly joined them along with his parents. It was a constant flickering of all he had lost, mixed with the fear of losing what was still to slip through his fingers.

Branoff had commented on his silence, as had one of the girls, but there was nothing Vaun could say in reply. Sometimes they'd speak, their words going over his head or not even reaching it at all. He still felt so empty, with an energy so weak that even lifting a cup to his lips felt like a hike through the mountains. It was understandable though, and not something anyone paid too much attention to until it was time for bed that night.

Celise had joined him every night since Vaun had arrived back in Cragbarrow, and tonight was no exception. It was their first night back from the shore and with how she crawled beneath the covers and wriggled close to him, it was clear she was eager for a good sleep to make up for the toll of the road.

Vaun wasn't thinking straight with his mind locked on a shadow on the ceiling, with no real wonder of what it was or how it got there. His mind was a blur of nothing and everything. He bearly noticed that she was even there.

Celise gave a heavy frustrated sigh. She pushed back the blankets, propping herself up on one elbow. "Vaun, talk to me."

He heard the voice, but the words didn't translate. As he glanced towards her with a silent question to repeat herself, Celise sighed again. This time, she shifted to sit up in the bed.

"Talk to me. You've been really quiet both yesterday and today. I know what you're doing, you're bottling everything up and it's not good for you."

Vaun shook his head a little, eyes going back to the shadow that very well may have been a dirty smudge. "It's the only way I know how to deal with things."

As a traveller, it wasn't good to show your opinions or emotions. You could never be fully trusted, not really, and one wrong word or expression could get you in a lot of trouble with a man with a little too much ale in his stomach. Vaun had spent too many years keeping his thoughts to himself, that now, he didn't know how to share.

With another sigh, a much softer one than before, Celise laid a hand on his chest. "It's not a good way though. Please, Vaun."

He shook his head, for giving into her was something he couldn't do. How could he open up and pour out all the weights and stresses from his shoulders onto Celise's? He'd promised Opan's body -as far off down the beach as it had been- that he'd look after her. Worrying her pretty head with his troubles would do her no good.

"I owe it to your father to keep you safe, so let me."

"I'm grown, I can handle it. I know you think you can too, but look at you." Vaun looked, at the bulge in the bed where his body lay and the hands on top of it, but he couldn't understand what she was referring too. He appeared how he always did, his quietness the only true sign of the overwhelmingness inside.

Celise sighed, turning to lay back down again and roughly tug the blankets up over them both. He could tell she wasn't satisfied and sleep wouldn't come until she was. "How are we supposed to do this, Vaun, if you won't communicate with me?"