Remember when you brought me home? I do. I was small and fragile, with bent legs and blunt teeth, You were the first person my eyes opened to. You held me in your hands like your own baby. I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh, your voice rang in my ears and made my heart warm. And even though I chewed on your shoes and killed your plants and pillows-you still rolled me over for a belly rub.
I remember when I lay next to your books as you studied hard and long. Wrinkles painted your forehead and I worried for you as I snuggled next to you, wanting nothing more than to see your eyes crinkled of happiness. I listened to your dreams and nightmares, I took you out to journeys in a little dimmed room. We went to long walks where you poured your heart out and I didn't seem to mind. When I got tired, you would pick me up and hold me against your chest. I thought life could not be more perfect. I sat in our lawn, waiting for you to come home. But I didn't seem to realize that the wait started getting longer day by day.
Gradually you started searching for your human mate. You would spend more time at work, worked harder to make a career. I supported you through waggling my tail and leaning on you, begging for you to understand what I wanted you to. Never did I question what you did, even when you came home with alcohol affected steps and scent not so pleasant, I would lead you to bed and close your door and tried my hardest to cover you with blankets with all my paws.
You fell in love, she was beautiful. Even though she didn't like me, I cared for her and obeyed her because she made you happy. Then one day a human baby came along, I was fascinated with her innocence, I wanted to mother her but you didn't seem to understand. You would lock me in a cage thinking that I would hurt her. Outside I laughed thinking how absurd that was and inside I cried because how alone I was. I wanted to love her but I became a prisoner of love.
Then she started to grow. She would latch on my ears and snuggle on my sides. She poked my eyes and I loved her touch on my unattended fur. I would've defended her with my heart, mind and sinew If you gave me the chance.
We would wait together on the couch for the screeching of your car's tires on the gravel in the drive way. When we heard it, all of us jumped with joy and scrambled to the door on wobbly legs. Your love would open the door with a smile on her face as you took her and your child in your arms as I was left behind waggling my tail. Slowly I would retreat, almost ashamed and embarrassed for I had gone from your dog to only 'a dog'.
They said you have a career opportunity-in another city. Now you would move there with your 'family' in an apartment that does not allow pets-you didn't seem to mind. But you forgot that I was once your only family.
I didn't look forward to the car ride, but we somehow arrived at the animal shelter without me breaking down. It smelled of animals-anxiety and hopelessness. You signed all the papers and told the lady behind the table to get me a good home, she gave you a half-smile and a shrug as she pictured my fate. You all knew the reality of a middle aged animal.
Your daughter stuck to my side as you tried to pull her off, she yelled for me but you took her anyway and I worried for her-for what you will teach her about love and responsibility, faithfulness and respect was not acceptable as it did not even exist in your heart. You avoided my gaze as you quickly took the exit because you had a deadline and now I had too.
The lady was nice, she would feed me and pet me but she did also leave me. Every night I lay alone in the corner. I could hear the soft purring of every hopeless breed in the room and felt sorry for them-sorry for us. When the bell rang for a new day, I ran- I ran because inside I somehow believed that you would return and take me home, or at least someone who cared.
Finally I heard the bell for the last day. I could hear her soft footsteps, heels clicking on the hard floor as she made her way over too me. She rolled me over to another room, a blissfully quiet but small room. She placed me in the middle and told me not to worry and she rubbed my cold ears with her warm hands. My heart pounded in anticipation but I was also filled with relief for I was no longer bound to feel alone and scared. The prisoner of love has run out of days. But I worried about her, because she will carry a burden on her shoulders and I know that the same way I knew your every emotion, after all you were my first love.
She gently placed a bouquet next to my fore leg as a tear ran down her rosy cheek.
