The first monster, I payed him in blood.
He likes to sit in dark corners and whisper about how
he needed me to bleed, needed me to hurt.
He needed it to keep him quiet, or he'd trash my brain and leave it broken and bleeding the next day.
The second monster, I payed him in loss of appetite.
He would sit in the back of my brain, quiet mostly, except when I thought about food. Then he would scream obscenities at me and tell me I was Fat.
Capital F fat.
And disgusting if I did eat.
Later he morphed into puking, it was okay to eat that donut as long as you puked it up in the bathroom next.
The third monster, I payed her in pills.
She liked to talk, all the time, no matter what, and it was always about how I felt, "he's an asshole" "I love this one, I really think I do" "oh I don't wanna get out of bed today, maybe tomorrow" "I wanna do something dangerous, something that will make me FEEL alive"
And the fourth monster, I couldn't pay him.
He always sat in the very very back of my brain and made me feel worse than any of the other monsters, or all of them combined. He touched me in all the wrong places at all the wrong times, and pressed me into silence that I just can't quiet come back from.
YOU ARE READING
Poems
PoetryI'm poisoning myself But the monsters like it So I let them have it I'm poisoning myself But the doctors don't know So I let the poison stay I'm poisoning myself But the mirrors don't tell So I let them see I'm poisoning myself But the eyes...