It's Kinda Complicated

30. Please stop and just listen

"You shouldn't be here" I said trying to push him away.

He moved away from my personal space and pulled me with him as he moved towards the coach. My hand was in his, even after the two of us were seated, he was holding my left hand with both his hands as if I would run away the minute he leaves it.

He isn't wrong.

"We should talk," I said to fill the silence.

He nodded his head and said "yes, we do" still not letting go of my hand.

Numerous things were causing havoc inside my brain and I couldn't point out the first thing to start with. I had a feeling that he was thinking the same and I took this time to get my thoughts in order.

"I... just... you know..." I blabbered and exhaled, when he smiled at me.

"Shut up, just promise me that you will listen to everything I have to say and only then react. There is a reason we never spoke about this and I am still a little vary of how you will react. You cannot blame Sasha or Ryan. If you should be mad at someone it is me. Not that I will let you stay mad, but you know, just in case."

I simply nodded my head preparing myself for the huge reveal.

"I am not with Sasha. Never been. It was something we had to come up with, just, so I could know you better."

That my friends, is when my brain went into an override. I opened my mouth to blast him with questions, but he looked at me right in the eye and continued,

"Not the brightest of plans and I know words like betrayal and deceive are running in your brain. Please stop and just listen."

Fine. That was the least I could do. My brain was anyway going to keep me up all night with all the new information I was going to get today.

"I saw you for the first time, few years ago, in a museum. You were with Mini and she had come to meet Ryan. I was with Ryan. I was having a horrible day and I was dragged out of my room by him. I was in my junior year and lived on the same street as the museum. I was more or less yelling at Ryan for dragging me out of my cave when I saw you. I don't know what it was, maybe the frown on your face while looking at some painting or how you looked like you didn't have a care in the world or how in that moment it looked like all that mattered to you was that piece of art, many wouldn't even look twice at. It was admiration in the purest form. In that moment I wanted to be you, lost, appreciating beauty and completely aloof from the rest of the world. I was jealous of this girl, who was a complete stranger mind you, who looked like nothing affected her. Opinions, thoughts, critiques, nothing and no one affected her. I was beating myself that day and one look at you something in me changed. I smiled, I went back to my dorm and got my sh*t together. I can't really explain the rationales behind what I felt or why I felt it when I looked at you." He let out a breath and looked at me with a look of expectation.

His story sounded crazy and it was a little difficult for me to understand where this was going and how any of this made sense.

"I forgot what you looked like, a few months later. I never asked Ryan about you, he just told me he was dating Mini and they did not want anyone to know about them. I was fine with not knowing who you were, I went on with my life, but, I still sometimes thought about the unpretentious girl from the museum."

"It was right after I started my company, Ryan once asked me to come to this party. It was the same party where it was announced he would be taking over from his father. I was talking to Ryan after the announcement when Mini came over to congratulate him. After she left, he gestured in the direction of a girl who was busy making faces at a baby and said she was Mini's friend who was currently interning under him. 'Mini is scared to tell her about us. Fierce, brave and crazy, sometimes she even scares me, but, deep deep deep deeeep inside she's loving, caring and compassionate' he said. It was a pull that was beyond logic, I wanted to know you. I wanted to understand how this girl went from appreciating beauty to mocking babies, I wanted to know how she was scary and kind at the same time, I wanted to know what she thought when standing straight and looking at an ice cream then slowly picking up two."

"I am not going to lie, you intrigued me. Ryan told me that if he introduced me to you, you will immediately throw me in the brother category."

"Now why would I do that?" has he looked at himself in the mirror? I'd never bro-zone him.

"Are you really asking me that? Tell me what Ryan means to you? I know you told Mini once he's the brother you never really had."

"Or wanted" I added. I am going to grill Mini on what else she told him about me.

"Ok, Jack? Or Jay? Or anyone from college. From what I have gathered from Mini, Sasha and Vivi, you either friend-zone them or make them your brother-from-another-mother." He said the last part in quotes.

"I couldn't risk being your brother when I was busy imagining you having my babies."

What the actual f*ck?

"I AM NOT HAVING ANY BABIES. I DON'T LIKE THEM, THEY LOOK LIKE RATS and what do you mean..." I was rudely interrupted yet again from this handsome di*khead sitting beside me.

"Ok, ok that came out wrong. Forget it, erase it from your memory. That is a conversation for some other time." I was still breathing heavily.

"Later Ryan met Sasha through a common friend and spoke to her about you. I was there too, and I don't know what I was thinking, just like right now, I said her 'I think I like your friend.' It was not an easy conversation after that. Sasha avoided me like a plague, she thought I was creepy and apparently my looks did not go hand in hand with my thoughts."

"After weeks of persuasion she agreed to help. I was given a fair warning to not use words like love, like, admire in your presence or you would make a run for it. Do you know how difficult it is to look at you and not say any of the words from the list?"

"Then I met you and you were better than my imagination. It's weird and unhealthy how much I'm drawn to you. Every day I feel like I have met a new person who looks just like you. You cannot see the obvious. For someone so intelligent, you are pretty clueless about what happens around you. Passionate, loving, kind and smart. Crazy, stupid and sometimes dumb. Irritating, annoying, troublesome and a big-time psycho. I know you care a lot, but you don't show. I know that there was some rough patch between you and Sasha, but, I still see the care, love and protective instincts you have for her. Hell, I even know the number of times you messaged me if I reached home safely even when you barely knew me. I don't know where you get this from, but I think you have this intense sense of protection for everyone you know. You want to help everyone. I love that about you."

He paused and looked at our intertwined hands.

"Actually, I think I know where you get that from. I met your father and he is just like you."

My brain that turned into a mush was now highly alert and all the red lights were blazing.

"You met my father?" my voice sounded louder with every word I spoke.

"How else do you think your mother recognized me? Your father tracked me down and had me meet him the day I was coming to your friend's beach wedding. He was not happy about you being in a relationship and used some very descriptive words to threaten me, if I ever hurt you. People don't have to look at the two of you to say you are related. The two of you even frame and use words in the same way. Only difference is you are beautiful and scary; your father is scary and scary."

He smiled looking at me and I guess this was the end of his monologue. I should say something now, ask something, anything and I asked the first thing that came to my mind.

"I am not having babies with you."

~*~*~*~*~*

I am a little nervous about this chapter.

It might not make a lot of sense, but thank you for your patience and wait for the next chapter for a little more understanding of what is happening.

As always stay happy and let me know what you think.

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