chapter 20

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After her last period of the day, which consisted of a rather embarrassing foray into sexual education during health class,
Lauren collected up her belongings and made her way along the crowded hallway to wait for Camila by her locker as she normally did.

The afternoon had passed rather quickly in comparison to a few other problematic days this school year; however, Lauren’s
mind had still been preoccupied for the duration of it, thoughts of accompanying Camila to the police station and Rachel’s intentions troubling her throughout. Lauren had never been to a police station before and she pictured what it would be like using the mental imagery that had been solely shaped from years of watching bad crime shows on the television. She pictured heavy set, middleaged detectives wearing scruffy shirts, a tie loosely hanging round their neck, visible sweat stains under their arms as they drank old coffee from a crappy machine and ate stale donuts
from a box. If she was honest, Lauren wasn’t anxious about going to the police station as much as what the visit would be like for Camila, recollections of how badly it had affected her girlfriend yesterday still vivid in her recent memory. Camila had been rendered near catatonic after being asked to identify the vehicle which had hit her the previous day and it had taken hours for her to finally resemble her normal self again, the visit leaving her with fresh nightmares and memories to plague her sleep. Lauren was concerned that Camila may face similar, if not worse difficulties
today after being asked to try and identify the driver which had so recklessly and thoughtlessly changed her life. Lauren had to admit that she had been exceptionally touched when Camila had requested that she went with her to the police station. She was more than happy to grant her girlfriend any demand if it would potentially lessen her own anxieties and so had agreed to the plea on the spot. If Camila needed support through this, then Lauren would gladly provide it to her. Secretly, Lauren hoped that today would mark the start of Camila finally putting to rest her own demons surrounding the accident. Lauren prayed that by seeing the driver and being able to put a face to the otherwise formless entity, Camila would be able to move on with her life at last, forgetting all the ridiculous notions of personal responsibility and blame which she had.

As Lauren stood, her back resting solidly against the orange locker adjacent to Camila’s, her books held firmly against her chest in her crossed arms, she glanced along the hallway and spotted Rachel, standing across from her a little way to the right, studying her closely. Along with her concerns for Camila in relation to the visit to the police station this afternoon,Lauren had also been extremely worried regarding Rachel’s current interest in her girlfriend which had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Lauren and Rachel had not dated long, a few weeks at best towards the end of the last school year. Rachel was not the type of girl that Lauren was normally attracted to; she stood at a height of five foot seven inches and had long blonde hair with bright piercing blue eyes. Rachel wasn’t on the cheerleading squad but she had a lot of friends who were and she could often be found sat with them or an assortment of the junior varsity basketball team at lunch. Rachel had an athletic body and captained the girls’ soccer team, playing offensively as one of the school’s top scoring forwards.

Lauren had first met Rachel at the barbecue of a mutual friend one sunny Saturday afternoon. They’d hit it off immediately, Lauren drawn to Rachel’s evident confidence and outgoing manner. The two of them had spent that day engrossed in each other’s company, conversation coming easily before Rachel, late into Saturday evening, had finally asked Lauren for her number. The two of them had fallen into an easy relationship to begin with, enjoyable dates shared together bowling or at the movies. However, it soon became apparent to Lauren that Rachel was still resolutely in the closet when the pair of them ran in to a few of Rachel’s friends one evening whilst out on a date. Rachel’s whole demeanour had changed almost instantly on being approached by the small group of her friends and the physical and emotional distance that she’d created between herself and Lauren had prompted the end of their relationship. Lauren was sympathetic to the process of coming out to your friends and family, having had experienced the same thing herself. Lauren understood that it was difficult and daunting, however, the hurt that she’d felt at being publicly disregarded and debased by Rachel had been all the motivation she’d needed to finish their fleeting relationship. Lauren didn’t judge Rachel for not being open about who she was, but, she would not compromise herself to accommodate that, she’d spent far too much of her life already pretending to be someone else and she’d hated every second of it. Lauren had finally accepted that she was a lesbian and was proud of herself for being able to be open about it, there was no way she’d let anyone repeal that. Lauren watched as Rachel excused herself from the group of friends that she’d been standing with and made her way across the crowded hallway to where she was stood.

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