Shassie: 'Cause There Just Isn't Enough

The Phone Call

Lassiter walked out of the grocery store when he thought he heard the sound of Shawn Spencer's voice. It was coming from the other side of the building. He walked down to the end of the building and listened in on him, who was talking on the phone just around the corner.

"Come on, Jules. How many times do I have to apologize about the family of raccoons? I didn't realize she had kids!" He could hear Juliet's voice scolding him on the other end. "I also didn't realize she had rabies.... Or ticks. Seriously, Jules, I thought you would love to have a new pet. Maybe one that wasn't contagious, but still!"

The more Spencer talked, the more confused Lassiter became. But, then again, it was Spencer.

"Juliet, I am sorry about your grandmother, but I seriously think this shouldn't drive us apart.... Because I love you! No matter what illnesses cast a shadow over your relatives. Hello? Jules? Does that mean you hung up?" Spencer sighed and hung up the phone. He felt like such an idiot. He looked at the ground in front of him. He saw a shadow which looked like the silhouette of a man. He recognized the figure immediately.

"Lassie?" This caught Lassiter by surprise.

"Spencer, how did you know I was here?" Spencer poked his head around the corner, his middle finger placed on his temple.

"Do I really need to answer that?" Lassiter rolled his eyes.

"Family of raccoons?"

"Yeah, it's a long story. Basically, don't come up with gift ideas while watching Animal Planet. So, what brings you here, Lassie?"

"I was just buying my groceries when I happened to hear the voice of the devil."

"Elizabeth Hurley?" Lassiter rolled his eyes again.

"No."

"Robert Judd?"

"No!"

"That would make you Ralph Macchio. Wait, I got it! George Burns!"

"Who the hell is George Burns?"

"Wow. That is sad, Lassie. I would expect better from you. Are you sure it wasn't Robert De Niro?"

"Are you done?" Shawn paused.

"Sure thing, Mickey Rourke." Lassiter sighed, a bit ashamed to say he understood that reference.

"So, I take it you and O'Hara had a falling out?"

"A bit. She, uh, kicked me out." Lassiter paused.

"Sorry." Shawn looked at him a bit surprised.

"Wait a minute. You're... sorry?"

"Oddly, yes. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Okay, Lassie, you're scaring me. Are there hidden cameras?" Lassiter rolled his eyes once more.

"No, there are no cameras. Look, do you have a place to stay or not?" He began to sound impatient.

"Uh... no. Not really. Why...?"

"Well, I know this is a bit... odd. But... you could always... stay at my place. Marlowe's out of town for the week, there's plenty of room." Spencer decided to have fun with this.

"Aw, like a sleepover."

"This is not a sleepover!" Lassiter spoke through gritted teeth.

"Hey, maybe we can watch The Princess Bride and have a pillow fight! And whoever falls asleep first gets a mustache drawn on their face!" Lassiter laughed sarcastically.

"Get in the car." Shawn followed him to his Ford Fusion, the two of them driving in silence. Once they arrived at Lassiter's condo, they went inside, not speaking a word. That elevator ride couldn't have been more awkward. Shawn could feel his depression starting to act up. He had been clinically depressed for about seven years now, since he met Lassie. He felt an instant connection, but Lassiter clearly felt differently. Jules knew about his depression, since he had to cry himself to sleep most nights. But she didn't know why.

"You alright?" Lassiter asked, seeing his sad face. Shawn looked up at him.

"Yeah. I'm great. Excellent. Although my girlfriend just kicked me out."

"Women. Can't live with them, can't open your mouth in front of them or all hell will break loose." Shawn smiled. Lassie always made him laugh.

"That would make the perfect mug. Or bumper sticker. Maybe a keychain. Maybe a T-shirt with one of those creepy little anime cartoon people." He laughed a little, trying to keep his spirits up. It didn't help as well as he thought it would, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He wiped it away before Lassiter could notice. They reached his floor, the elevator doors sliding open.

As soon as he walked through Lassiter's door, a wave of exhaustion washed over him. He could tell Lassiter was talking, but he was too tired to pay attention. He collapsed on the couch, falling asleep almost instantly.

Lassiter looked at Shawn and found him asleep. He couldn't help but smile. He was starting to grow more fond of him. He unfolded the blanket which rested on the back of the couch and draped it over him.

"Good night... 'psychic'."