What Can I Do To Find You? (Kellic)

My name is Kellin

*Kellin's POV* {1 week prior}

I had been high on heroin all week. I just ran out. My drug dealer is on trial and I can't risk getting into it. I need more. I can't deal with myself as a regular person, I hate every aspect of myself. I can't deal with my family, my absent father who I've never spoken to since I was 3 and my abusive step-dad along with my mom, who I love than anything, but can only do so much; my girlfriend who just got pregnant by me one and only (close to) best friend, my falling GPA. I had so much potential only 2 years ago, where has it gone?

I couldn't shake the withdrawal, mixed with the constant sad and numbness that has been clawing it's way into my skull for two years now. I can't take it anymore.

My step-dad, Paul, bursts into the room, screaming at for only God knows what reason, he walks toward me, I just roll over on my bed to put my back to him, which makes him more angry. He starts hitting me and kicking me. Pulling a pocket knife off of my dresser while pinning me to a wall, giving me small cuts on my arms and face with the knife.

My mom walks in the house from work to hear Paul, drunk and my gasping for air underneath his hand around my neck. She runs to jump on top of him. She should've just ignored it. I would've had a few cuts and bruises but I'd be ok. She, on the other had, gets abused by Paul raping her most of the time. Paul fights my mom back and starts carrying her to their room to give her her punishment. I yell at him to let her go but she tells me to stay in my room and put in some headphones, that she'd be ok.

I knew she was lying but last time I interrupted the rape, Paul came awfully close to killing us both. Honestly, if the neighbors hadn't called the cops because of the noise, we would've been dead.

I did what mom told me but I could still hear her cries over my headphones so all I could feel was helpless. I had to get out my blade. I cut my skin as deeply as possible, maybe It'd look accidental, if I went too deep, or like it was Paul that killed me. I wasn't aiming to kill myself, I couldn't leave my mom on purpose, but if I happened to die, I wouldn't be utterly upset, I mean, I would be dead...

I blacked out and woke up in a hospital bed, I'm not sure how I got here, because Paul would've just left me to die, but I'm slightly happy that I'm alive, for my mom's sake.

A doctor comes in and gives me the low down, and tells me that it looked like attempted suicide, so I'd have to be in the in-patient program until I was told I could leave by the doctors.

This sounds like it will be fun.......