Supernatural- Destiel Fanfiction Alternate Ending

Looking down at Dean in the hospital bed is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. Actually, this is the hardest thing that I have ever experienced. Throughout everything, all of the hunts, the dozens of near-death experiences, this is how it ends. Cancer. One of the only things that we have never even thought about. With the amount of times he escaped death, it was never a worry for something so simple to kill him. The vampires, the demons, and the rise of Lucifer, the worst of the worst, and he made it through it all.

"Cas..." I hear him groan from the bed, among the beeping coming from the numerous machines that are keeping him alive for as long as possible. This kills me. I have always thought of him as someone that would be with me forever. Now, even as an angel, I can't do anything to heal him, to keep him with me. And all I can feel is regret.

"I'm here, Dean" I say, as calmly as I can manage. He doesn't have much time left- the doctors say that a day or two is even a stretch.

"This is it, huh Cas? After everything, the years of all of the fighting, and healing me over and over again... this is how I die." The disappointment in himself is apparent in each and every word.

"Don't say that, Dean. Everything you did, every kill, and every life that was saved- it had a purpose, you fulfilled your meaning in life. If this is the way it should be, then this is how it must be".

"But how could you say that, Cas? What's next, where do I go from here?" He cringes in pain, it is obvious that it is difficult for him to talk. "Where do I go once I die?"

I sigh, his stubborn personality is still intact, even in such a desperate time. "How many times have I told you Dean, heaven waits for you. You seen it with your own eyes- you know that it's there. It's where I'm from, Dean. How can you still have doubts?"

"How do you know that I am going to go there Cas?" He pauses, trying to find the energy to speak again. "I was a demon Cas, remember? I went to hell! How could I possibly go to heaven?" The machine to his left begins beeping louder, and more often.

"God had a plan for you Dean, don't you remember? He brought you back when you should've been dead, and you followed His plan. Nothing equals the splendor that you will obtain, Dean. You'll see" I convince him, as his health continues to decline, much worse by the minute.

"But, Cas...I don't want to die" he groans, obviously defeated and scared, too tired to argue. "Please just promise me one thing".

"I can try, what is it Dean?" I look at him intently, with the hopes that it is something I can fulfill.

"Please, promise me..." he pauses again, trying to catch his breath. "Just promise me that you will carry on. Always remember me, but don't let this break you. Sam needs you, everyone needs you..." He closes his eyes, and I see a tear roll down his cheek. It's in this moment I see him the most vulnerable, the most broken.

"I... I don't know if I can do that. Dean, you have grown to mean so much to me, and I don't know how I'm going to-" I pause, this is clearly upsetting him as much as it's upsetting me. "But I will do it for you. I won't ever forget you, for the rest of forever. Whether I die tomorrow, or centuries from now, I will always remember you and everything that you have ever done for me, for everyone". It's so hard for me to talk to him seeing him like this. He's extremely skinny now, and any traces of strength that he once had is completely gone. He is as white as a ghost (I never understood this saying, but I think it fits), and the fire in his eyes is gone. The passion, determination, bravery, and what I would like to think was love- all of it was gone. Dean, my poor Dean. So broken, more broken than I ever wanted to see him. I never thought I would see him cry like this.

"Dean, you don't have to do anymore..." I close my eyes, trying to hold back tears, as to not upset him any more. "You've fought such a great fight. You have done so much more than anybody else has in a lifetime. You've saved so, so many people... including me. I was nothing without you and... I never got to tell you that" I look down at him and my eyes meet his, and I see, for just a second, that fire, that lust, back in his eyes.

"I... never thought I ever meant anything more to you than just a friend, Cas" Dean whispers to me, and it almost feels like I have my Dean back.

I look away from Dean and stare out the window into the darkness of night, not a star in the sky, strictly trying to distract myself. "I guess I never had the chance to tell you..." I say, somewhat under my breath. After saying this, I look down at him, and he is crying even harder now, worse than ever.

"Oh, Dean... don't you cry no more, honey. Lay your weary head to rest, it'll all be over soon. I just hope you now realize how much you mean to me, and how important it was to me that you were always safe." His breathing slows now, along with a much calmer expression coming across his face. "There, there," I say, while lightly stroking his hand, "There'll be peace when you are done. All of the pain will disappear, and you will be in a much better place."

Just as I finished my sentence, Dean's eyes slowly drifted closed, and I tightened my grip on his hand. "This is it," I whispered to myself, not wanting to believe what was happening in front of me. I could sense it- he was about to leave me, this time for good. How am I supposed to deal with this?

All of a sudden, Dean reopens his eyes, his beautiful, green eyes for what seems to be the last time.

"Castiel, I- I-" he muttered, his voice raspy and barely understandable.

"What is it, Dean? What, I'm here," I said frantically, trying to get the answer out of him before it's too late.

But what I had hoped to be just in time, turned out to be too late. While I attempted to get an answer out of Dean, his heart rate flatlined, and there was nothing left of either of us. I was left by myself, in this empty hospital room, holding the hand of my best friend, the love of my life. I was left there, on my knees, crying into the chest of the only person that I knew I could trust, the one person that truly trusted me.

I stayed in that position for what seemed like hours, just crying and staring at the emptiness that was Dean; his porcelain-white body, his blank green eyes, and his messy brown hair. All of this was too much for me; I've never really been affected by someone's death, especially a human.

During the early hours of the morning, Sam and Bobby showed up to see Dean, or at least his body. I couldn't bear to let them see me so defenseless, so I quickly kissed Dean, for the first and last time, and swiftly left without a sound other than my wings.

If there is one thing that I will stay true to, then it is that I will never forget Dean Winchester, the man who taught me how to trust, how to love, and how to feel again.