Divine Affinity

Midnight, moon and memories

It was deep into the night and Rayhaan was fast asleep. I on the other hand, couldn't bring myself to succumb to the needs of my tired body, my mind was far too awake, racing. I decided to get up and sneak a view of the balcony  that stood behind a misty sliding door. The balcony itself had glossy wood floors and metallic framing.  It truly put wood and metal everywhere to shame. But, greater than anything else was the breathtaking view of a streaming full moon which sat resting on a midnight cloud. Truly the creator is the greatest at creating and He brings coolness of the heart.

Despite my restless mind, I couldn't help but smile at the sight. It wasn't long before I heard the rattle of the sliding door against its rail. Quickly turning around I was greeted by Rayhaan's weary presence.

"What are you doing out here?" he inquired. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd make the most of this surreal view." With a slight smile he replied, "It is something isn't it?" And with that he was next to me staring up into the sky. We stood like that for a moment, quiet.

"The moon reminds me so much of my dad," I finally said. Turning to look at me, he waited. "My dad would always prefer to have conversations in the light of the moon. He said it's beauty would keep our hearts calm and tongues cool. He was strange it that way." I couldn't help but laugh at the memory along with a cracking heart every time I realised he was gone. "He sounds wonderful, I wish I had had the chance to meet him," Rayhaan replied. "Me too."

After a moment I couldn't help but ask, "Rayhaan,  tell me about the jewellery box please,  whose was it? Why does it upset you so badly?" I saw those eyes turn cloudy once again but I wasn't going to let him leave without answers. He began to turn away as I grabbed on to his hand. He stopped. I took a step closer, waited until he looked into my eyes and whispered,  "please tell me..." After a while I thought he wouldn't cave and started to walk away disappointed.

"Aasmaa, wait. "

My name sounds so peculiar in his voice, like I had never have heard it before. I turned to face him. He watched the sky,  I watched him. "Please just hear me out completely okay? "

As I nodded, he continued.

"The box belongs to Sanaa. She was my, my wife. We were childhood and family friends. Our parents had arranged our marriage years ago. I don't know if I loved Sanaa but she was my friend and I cared for her. Our marriage was comfortable and happy. A few weeks after we were married, I took her to see the new mall in town. She insisted on driving and I agreed. At an intersection, a drunken driver ran the stop sign and hit straight into Sanaa's side. She passed on instantly... I shouldn't have let her drive,  If I were driving she'd be here today, healthy and well... When she left, all I was left with was darkness, darkness I still hold today, 5 years later."

He was shaking as he concluded. I was unsure how to react, I didn't expect to hear this heartbreaking reality. I could deal with how I felt later. I had to say something. "Rayhaan, you know it isn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented what was written... you have to know that..."

"Yes I know, but I could never break free from guilt. I couldn't even speak to her parents, I just hid like a coward. When my parents spoke to me about marrying you, I knew I'd be poisoning your life... But I couldn't put them through much more. I am very sorry Aasmaa..."

Hurt at his words I replied, "Poison my life? You are the reason that my mother is safe and well in India, that our debt is paid and my father's reputation is salvaged. Please don't think that... I pray you will find peace some day" 

Suddenly I felt lighter in some ways and heavier in others. This new state of mind yearned for sleep. "Why don't we get some sleep? It's been a tiring day..." He nodded and we stepped inside.

"Thank you," were the words I heard before drifting asleep...