The Faerie Meadows

"Bright star, would I were"

"Jonathon Keats loved the coincidence of life. He used to tell me when I was growing up that the late poet John Keats, whom he was named after, was a less inspired version of himself and though his work was noteworthy he had lived a life of little accomplishment due to the fears that gripped him. My father on the otherhand practiced the philosophy of living in spite of fear. His favorite quote was from Tuck Everlasting by: Natalie Babbitt, when Jesse writes to Winnie before going back into hiding with his family in the woods, "Do not fear death- fear living an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live." I think about all of the things that my father wrote and experienced and lived through and I have to agree even though it kills me, that when he saw death coming he wasn't afraid. He will live forever in my memory as the beloved story teller who wrote books only less fascinating than his own life, the father who always shared these stories with his daughter at bedtime, and the best friend who encouraged me to find captivating stories of my own to live through and write about..."

As I read the rest of the prepared eulogy for dad, the funeral home has already begun to lower the coffin into the musky earth of Creek Street cemetery. The pastor who conducted the memorial and was there in the hospital with me when dad died, was late by almost thirty minutes and keeps giving me sheepish glances as I prattle on about how much he meant to everyone present. Right now is probably not the time to be calling people out for tardiness as I hadn't attended a single church service since Dad was diagnosed. The woods around us are for once less ominous looking and the sky let up so my black dress with the lace backing and scooped sleeves might make it out of this in one piece, unlike me. Everyone single file begins laying flowers on the oak and family members and friends of dad's that were able to make the trip up here are giving me condolences and sad pats on the cheek. I have been numb to all of this for the last two days though. The only person who gets through the fog of my brain is Carter as he squeezes my shoulder and whispers in my ear to, " call me any time you are feeling the  slightest shade of blue and I will come over carrying a pint of ice cream and unlimited cuddles, sweet cheeks." I blushed at the last part especially with how handsome he looked in his crisp black suit. Stop thinking like that. This is a funeral Gwenevere stop flirting with your best friend! Carter winked one of those green eyes and was on his way and once again I was at a loss.