Husbands But Not

10: Define Fine

Noah

Kent did not look normal.

He wasn't his easy self.

He didn't smile in the morning, and when he did, his eyes didn't make those cute crinkles that I saw every time he was genuinely happy.

It was like his self was eating away itself.

Too worried, too careful, too alerted. Yet at the same time, he was too carefree, too ignorant, and he looked so. Much. Broken.

He was torn apart. He looked like he was about to cry, and I was expecting it to happen any moment. It didn't. It seemed as if his emotions had gone dry. There were no tears left to cry.

English class started, and even though it was my favorite class, I didn't pay much attention to the teacher. I was so lost in thoughts.

I was just too astounded, mortified even, at how Kent was. It was not Kent Sinclair who came to school that day. Not Kent, the person who had purity radiating out of him like an aura, engulfing him in warmth most humans lacked nowadays.

The Kent who was always alone, yet never felt lonely.

He was in a mind of his own, which I imagined was full of dew drops on pillows, not tears.

But today he wasn't any of that.
He was distant, in a very different time and place.

It was lunch, and Kent was already there when I got in. Raiken, Spyder, and Ruby were already sitting with him. I had always shown up a little late because History class was a little far from the cafeteria.

I took my regular seat next to him. He didn't look up. He didn't say anything. He was just playing around with his food with a fork. It was untouched, not even one bite.

My face showed no emotion, but on the inside, I was being torn apart.
I wanted to hug his broken pieces back together. Make him feel safe and happy again.

"Hey." I said.

They all said 'Hey' back, except for him. I wasn't surprised. In fact, I wasn't even sure he heard me.

I promised him yesterday that I wasn't going to let anyone hurt him anymore, and now that I recalled, he was so sure that I couldn't keep my promise. He looked frightened when he realized that he might be late to get home before his dad was there. I didn't have to be Einstein to figure it out.

"Are you okay Kent?" I asked him, in which he jerked up and looked at me wide eyed. 2 thin purple lines decorated his lower lids.

"Sorry. I didn't realize you're here." So yes, he didn't hear my 'Hey'. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Define Fine." everyone grew uncomfortable as he said that.

"What do you mean?" he sounded agitated and like he was about to snap and kill someone. For God's sake, what did they do to him.

"Nothing, I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"I'm fine, thanks" he replied coldly. I looked at my friends. They all shrugged. They didn't have a clue.

Define fine, I thought.

The next day, Kent didn't show up to school. It took every drop of willpower I had to not go and see why didn't he come to school. It wasn't like him. I decided to give him space. Yesterday, he looked like he needed it.

When I saw him the day after, my heart sunk into my stomach. His eyes had scary dark circles, and he looked like he didn't have any sleep in at least a week. He walked past me but he didn't see me. I clutched his arm to make him stop, but I was surprised to hear him wince in pain.