It's All You... [Arshi]

Prelude - Arnav

|| Prelude: Arnav ||

My gaze never left the serene face of my wife as she slept protected in my embrace. Under my manly arms that are wrapped around her, to keep her close also for myself to feel her near me, she felt like a child instead.

And she is a child in weird sense of way. I know the truth while for everyone she might be a 21-year-old grown up woman who is now married and is a daughter-in-law of one of the elite families of the country with many responsibilities on her shoulders also the important responsibility of handling the arrogant beast known around. I chuckled at the mention. 

What arrogant and who beast?

A small upward stretch of her lips, a blush on her cheeks and a call from her can bring me down to my knees. Maybe Khushi doesn't know the extent and depth of my feelings for her. And maybe I've been trying too hard to not show her the extent of my devotion towards her due to my own fears that scarred me for life. The woman doesn't know that she had me wrapped around her little finger and I'm not even using it as metaphor. 

For being a self-made person who proudly claims as one 'writes his own destiny', this woman or the later part of our journey hasn't exactly been my own 'written destiny'. Hell, if I was given a chance I would have run far far away from her. The thoughts I used to have just with a mere mention of her word, how all the figures in my brain used to abandon me at a glimpse of her, uff, they can't be numbered.

I've been a sucker for her since my eyes clashed with her innocent hazel ones.

"Arnavji..." she pouted and adjusted herself in sleep by almost sticking herself to me. No kidding, it's sometimes hard to sleep with Khushi in her taekwondo poses and sometimes with her struck to me like a fevicol. But I am not complaining either, because I wouldn't have it any other way. As much as she needs the physical contact with me in sleep I need it to have my peaceful sleep. I may never mention it to anyone the bliss I feel when I open my eyes in the middle of the night and see her in my arms.

To be able to keep Khushi in my life even after all I did with her is the biggest achievement I can have for myself. Just how once in a while I'm stressed at work, or worried about a worthy deal, all I have to do is look at her and her assuring eyes with a dazzling shy smile makes me believe that I have everything in the world with me.

Khushi... The heal to all my silent sufferings.

But, now to know that I am, who love her to an extent I can't even possibly express in words, the reason for her silent sufferings makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit in my own eyes. Oh how I want to pamper her, how I wish to see her laugh without abandon when with me and how I wish we would have met in different circumstances to fall in love later? 

I clearly remembered the day when it started. 

"Khushi... Khushi..."

"Ar...Arnavji?" I had just come back from office and have not seen her anywhere. She was supposed to come and give me my lunch to office. She promised...!

"Khushi?" I panicked as I heard her sob. "What happened, Khushi?"

"I... I..."

"Tell me, jaan? Did someone say something to you? Did Mami say anything?" I asked even though I know of it being highly impossible. I know Mami's words were always hurtful but whenever I try to warn Mami Khushi holds me back giving the excuse of family. And I even know that it isn't an excuse plausible and I wanted to warn Mami without the knowledge of Khushi which I haven't been able to yet.

"No..." She wiped her tears and looked up at me with her eyes holding back the last of moisture. "Today Sheetalji and I went to doctor and he said that Aarav has diabetes."