Weight of Living (JohnDave)

The Story Behind the Mask

Chapter 5:

As the car pulled into the driveway, I jumped out of the car. It was nearly nightfall with the sun setting behind John's house as a glow of beautiful warm colors. I shut the car door with a slam and walked up to the door that Mr. Egbert was unlocking. Suddenly John jumped up beside me.

"Poke," he said poking my arm. "Come on let's go inside."

I followed John into the house and up to his room. His room was blue with a queen sized bed pushed up against the wall. Along with that, there was his dresser, a desk, and Casey, his lizard. Something caught my eye at his nightstand by his bed. It was a picture. I walked over to it while John was feeding Casey. After I got closer I realized what it was. It was a family picture from before his mom died and before Jane turned 18 and went to college. They were all so happy. I always wondered what it was like to have a family like this. One filled with love and laughter. It was something that I just simply never got.

"Hey, John?" I said picking up the picture frame.

"Huh?"

"What was it like?" My voice got quieter. "You know, having a family?"

"Oh, that..," I heard him walk towards me. "It was really nice. I mean, it still is but everyone has kinda been on there own since my mom died. Soon after Jane went to college and she gave herself too much work to do to help her get her mind off Mom and Dad just doesn't joke around very much anymore. Even though she met you maybe two or three times she really liked you. She'd probably be thrilled to know about us now."

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't be...," I turned around and saw him looking at the ground. "There was nothing we could do. Or anyone for that matter."

"My mom didn't even want me. Rose isn't even my isn't even my full sister she's just my half-sister. Dirk's my half-brother, too. Our dad was a player. It's why I'm related to Rose, but not Roxy. God knows, I mean there could be even more now. I just know Rose is because Dirk was Roxy's age when my so-called dad knocked up her mom. He only kept Dirk, because apparently he had a family once. I'm not sure if this is true or not, but he got a girl pregnant in high-school and they were in love or something and apparently that was Dirk's full sister that they had. Then a few years later married and had Dirk. Then the mom and daughter died."

"Wow...," John said.

"I'm not even done," I said looking at the ground trying not to cry. "I'm 16 and Dirk's 23 now, right? He was only 7 when I was born. I know this doesn't sound important, but it will later. Dirk told me that one night the someone was pounding on the door and Dirk ran to the railing while my mom and dad yelled at each other. It ended with him being forced to keep me. We were both treated horribly, because he didn't want me and Dirk reminded him of the girl he loved. Then I remember when I was 11 Dirk moved out and took me with him. Then I met you about a year or so later."

"Holy shit, Dave. Why didn't you tell me?!" John said concerned. I felt tears form in my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I guess I felt there wasn't any need to tell you," I choked on my words.

"I'm sorry Dave. I really just... I didn't know you've had it this hard," John pulled away and pulled my chin up making me look him in the eye. He took my shades off and kissed me.

Everything hurt remembering everything I didn't want to, but knowing I had John right here and now made me feel a little better. There was still that one thing I just couldn't bring myself to show him. Something even though I promised I would, I just couldn't tell him.

"Hey, Dave. What was it you wanted to show me?" I felt this pain burn in the pit of my stomach.

"Uh...," I knew I had to, but I just couldn't. "It's nothing."

"Come on, Dave," I didn't look him in the eye. "There is obviously something."

I sighed knowing I had no choice. "Fine."

I rolled my sleeves up to reveal old scars and cuts from lass than a week ago. Both a mixture of deep and non-deep, new and old. There wasn't anything fresh though. It was all at least two days old. I felt the pit in my stomach burn even more and it was sickening. I was terrified to look John in the eye. I finally just looked up to see John looking away at the ground.

"Dave...," I heard John crying.

"I'm sorry," I said pulling my sleeves down again.

"No, I get it. Hearing what you've been through, I'm just proud you're alive," John ssaid pulling me into a hug as he cried into my shoulder. "I love you, Dave, and please don't forget that and without you I don't think I could live."

I felt myself smile a little while tears still fell from my eyes. "I love you, too."

AUTHOR NOTE THING

Sorry it's so over due... and that it's so sad and meh and ya. I just wanted to let you know I don't know how much I can update with school and etc. I've been getting better, but now school's in the way. I love you all. Also, do you all mind underage drinking or drugs and etc? I hope not.